Easy Things You Can Do to Help Yourself Through the Baby Blues

When I had my first baby, I was incredibly prepared for the newborn stage. I had the diapers stocked, the clothes washed, and everything ready for my baby. What I wasn’t prepared for was the hormone crash about a week after giving birth that had me crying on the phone to a public health nurse for no clear reason. I’d heard the term “baby blues” during pregnancy, but I didn’t truly understand what it meant until I experienced it myself.

One moment you can feel incredible and on cloud 9. Like “I can’t believe I just birthed this beautiful thing and grew them in my body!” And the next you might be crying at an emotional poignant commercial. Or maybe you’re sad you’re not pregnant anymore and are grieving the passing of that stage of your life. Maybe you’re hyper fixated on one particular component of your healing. Or maybe you’re still processing the birth of your baby and there is some trauma associated with it. 

The sleep deprivation and the changing hormones really create the perfect storm for moms to be on an emotional roller coaster ride. Add in other children to take care of, a healing body, possible breastfeeding challenges, the adjustment of taking care of a newborn, and you’ve got quite the stressful situation. 

With my first baby, the baby blues really smacked me in the face. With my second, I had postpartum anxiety. For my third baby, I wanted to be as prepared as possible for the mood shifts. Around my 5th day postpartum with my third, I started noticing that I could have an amazing morning where I felt happy, confident, and grateful—and then later that day feel anxious, overwhelmed, or emotional.

So I created a list of easy things that I could do to help myself through the baby blues whenever I felt my mood getting low. 

Sometimes, the smallest things can make a big difference.

While these strategies won’t treat postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety, they can be helpful ways to support yourself through the normal emotional ups and downs many mothers experience in the first couple of weeks after birth.

But first, recognize when you’re starting to feel low.

The most important thing I want to share that’s been a game changer this time around for me, has been my ability to recognize that my mood is starting to dip. Once I feel myself get low and teary, I know I’m going through an episode of the blues. Then I either vocalize it to my support system (my mom, my husband, my sister, or even just out loud), and then I pick something from my list. Just putting a name to your feelings gives you the power to acknowledge that this feeling is transient and that you will get through it. 

Baby blues affect up to 80% of new mothers and are thought to be caused by the rapid drop in estrogen and progesterone after birth, combined with sleep deprivation, physical recovery, and the enormous adjustment of caring for a newborn.

My Beat-the-baby-blues list: 

1. Eat something before assuming it’s your mood

One of the easiest things to overlook postpartum is basic nourishment. Not only do you need more calories to recover from birth, if you’re breastfeeding you need to up those calories even more to accommodate your supply. If you’re missing meals, which is easy to do when caring for a newborn, you’re setting yourself up for low energy, hunger, and dehydration that can make things feel more overwhelming. 

Before you assume you’re having a terrible day, and the feelings of doom and gloom are forever, try checking in with yourself:

Have I eaten recently?

Have I had enough water?

Have I had any protein today?

Sometimes a snack and a big glass of water go a long way in helping you feel better. 

2. Get outside, even for a few minutes

Sunlight is so important for mood. Even just a little bit throughout the day can make a huge difference.

Open the door. Sit on your porch, even sitting outside for ten minutes with your baby “counts”. Take a slow walk around your driveway or block if you feel up to it.

Fresh air and natural light can also help break up the feeling of being stuck inside, especially during those long newborn days.

Also note that on days that are rainy or grey, you might feel your mood slipping for this reason. Recognize that it might happen and make sure you have a plan (I.e choose another option on this list).

3. Change out of your pajamas

There is absolutely nothing wrong with spending a day in comfortable clothes postpartum. Wear your ugliest shorts and your most milk-stained shirt! 

But sometimes putting on a clean outfit, brushing your hair, washing your face, or putting on a hint of makeup can help you feel more like yourself and more confident. 

It’s about reminding yourself that you are still a person outside of your role as a mom. You’re still a part of society and it helps to set yourself up for the rest of the day. 

4. Do one small thing that makes you feel like you

The newborn stage can feel like your entire identity is just keeping a small potato alive. Try to incorporate one small thing in your day that is for you. It could be: 

Reading a few pages of a book.

Listening to a podcast.

Making your favourite coffee.

A skincare routine.

Watching a comforting or light-hearted show.

Sitting outside for five minutes.

It doesn’t have to be super productive. It just has to remind you that you’re still you and it should be something that “fills your own cup”, even if that’s only for a few minutes.

5. Stop the comparison spiral

The postpartum internet can be a difficult place. It’s easy to compare your day 1 to someone else’s day 30. Especially when social media is a highlight reel. 

Every postpartum recovery looks different, even between pregnancies. It’s ok if you’re still recovering or if you’re not as far in your healing as you would have expected. 

Give yourself grace and love. You’re on no one’s timeline but your own. Check out my post on “things to do on your phone postpartum that aren’t scrolling social media” if you’re looking for inspiration for alternative activities you can do. 

6. Limit the postpartum Google rabbit holes

Oh boy, I love a good deep dive into asking ChatGPT or Google all my questions. However, sometimes I come out feeling like I wasted 45 minutes and my anxiety is worse. Like I need to go to the ER right now. 

I know it’s tough because postpartum comes with so many questions and every baby has different needs. But while searching for answers helps, there is a danger that it creates more anxiety and confusion. 

Before going on a new internet search try asking yourself these two questions:

“Do I need this information right now, or can this wait?”

“Is this something I should speak to a medical professional about instead?”

Sometimes the answer is that you need reassurance from a trusted healthcare provider and not another hour scrolling online.

7. Let someone else help

As a self-proclaimed independent woman, this is tough. Many new moms struggle with accepting help because they feel like they should be able to handle everything. 

But postpartum is not the time to prove that you’re superwoman. 

Let someone make you food.

Let someone hold the baby while you shower.

Let someone entertain your older children.

Let someone fold the laundry.

Support is not a sign that you’re struggling. Support is part of recovery. And when you frame it that way, you’ll appreciate all the people you have in your corner. 

Similarly, learn to let go of perfection. It’s ok if the house is a mess, the dishes aren’t washed, and the laundry is piling up. As long as everyone is being loved and they’re happy, that’s all that matters right now. 

8. Get a little connection every day

As the newborn stage can be isolating, incorporate small moments of human connection if you can: 

Send a text to a friend. You can just say “thinking of you”. 

Call someone who makes you feel good.

Talk to another mom who understands.

Wave to a neighbour or say “hi” to someone walking on the street. 

I’m someone who sort of starts to fall apart without structure so I love having a bit of a loose schedule throughout the day. For example:

Morning: walk with babe and listen to a podcast.

Mid-morning: Do my rehab exercises and baby does tummy time

Lunch: eat and relax with a show

Mid-afternoon: second walk with an audiobook or try to nap if I can

Then, my kids come home and I make dinner, we play, and then I get them ready for bed.

I find ChatGPT especially helpful for this. Your prompt could be something along the lines of “create a loose daily schedule for me from Monday to Friday while I’m on Maternity leave. I need to do X and Y daily. I’d like to schedule time for this activity and this activity if I can”. Then refine as needed. It’s just a loose schedule so you can edit as you please, but it helps take out the overwhelm with trying to fit everything into your day or the guilt you feel if you don’t do something. 

If schedules make you feel pressured, skip this one. This tip is for moms who feel calmer with a little structure.

10. Self-care as preventative medicine

I think it’s important to prioritize some form of self-care during this time. This could be making sure you have a daily shower or maybe it’s incorporating your favourite hobby into a nap window. Whatever it is, make sure to sprinkle it in during your week and treat it as a non-negotiable. 

A note about affirmations

When everything feels chaotic, having one sentence you repeat to yourself can interrupt anxious thoughts.

When your baby is crying, your other kids are asking when dinner is, and you are exhausted, having a phrase that you repeat can be so helpful. You could say “I’ve got this” or “this season is so short” or “I’m the best mother I can be in this moment”. 

Positive affirmations can help the negative spiralling and conversations happening in your head. I think of them as a little self-care boost for your thoughts.

Bonus: have older children in a program or daily care if possible.

This isn’t always possible, and I recognize that this isn’t an option for every family. But having my older children in daycare provides them with some structure and daily stimulation that has been incredibly helpful. It also gives me the opportunity to devote all my attention to the baby and my recovery. Even if your older children are able to be away for a couple days in the week or if a relative can watch them for a day, it would be so helpful for you. 

When baby blues become something more

Baby blues are very common and often improve within the first couple of weeks after birth. If you’re in the thick of it right now, just know that these feeling will ease and you will start feeling more like yourself soon. 

However, if feelings of sadness, anxiety, hopelessness, or being overwhelmed feel intense, are getting worse, are lasting beyond 2 weeks, or are making it hard to function or care for yourself or your baby, reach out to your healthcare provider. You deserve support and it’s not a weakness to ask for help. 

If you’re ever worried about your safety or your baby’s safety, please seek medical attention immediately.

Final thoughts

The postpartum period can be beautiful and incredibly difficult at the same time.

You can love your baby deeply and still miss your old routine.

You can feel grateful and still feel overwhelmed.

You can be happy and still have hard days.

When the baby blues hit, don’t ask yourself, “What is wrong with me?”

Try asking:

“What is one small thing I can do to support myself today?”

Sometimes that one small thing is enough to help you get through the next hour, the next feed, and the next day. 

You’re not a failure as a mother. You’ve just been through one of the biggest physical and emotional transitions of your life. You’re adjusting to your new normal and you will get through this.

Related posts: [Hey Mom, get a Hobby!] | [Week 1 C-Section Recovery Checklist] | [46 things to do on your phone postpartum]