Happy August! Or as I like to say, happy “fall-lite”. I do hate saying that, but it’s hard to ignore the fact that our Ontario weather is starting to cool down, the sun is setting earlier, and I’m sitting here craving a latte. I’m just mentally trying to get into the headspace that summer is coming to a close and the lovely warm weather will be behind us soon.
Recently, I’ve been reading and hearing a lot about daily “non-negotiables”. Essentially, they’re a daily habit that you simply cannot skip. You can think of them as business meetings with your most important client (aka you) – cancelling them would be in bad taste. They’re a little sprinkle of self-care that should be as important to you as brushing your teeth.
I absolutely love the idea of incorporating “non-negotiable” habits into your day or week because it allows us moms the permission to prioritize ourselves without feeling guilty. And *say it with me now* you can’t pour from an empty cup!
Like, do ever you feel guilty for brushing your teeth? Of course not.
That is what non-negotiables should feel like.
Here are my current “non-negotiables” that I sneak into my day to help me be my best self. You can easily take inspiration from mine or create your own. They can be as big or small as you want, but they just have to make you a little bit healthier and bring you a little bit closer to living your most aspirational life:
Health and Fitness Related Non-Negotiables
1. Drinking Water:
Ok, starting the list off strong with a very basic survival activity. I try to have my first drink of the day be water. Really, I just aim to have a few healthy gulps before I chug a bunch of caffeine in the morning.
I recently got a Larq water bottle, and I love it! It filters the water well, and the tracking/reminder to drink features are a fun bonus. Another easy way to drink more water, aside from flavouring it or buying a new water bottle, is to drink a couple of big gulps after every bathroom break. Not super groundbreaking, but it’s something that’s easy to make a habit.
How is this a non-negotiable? I tell myself I can’t start my day without water, and I prioritize water throughout the day. When I go somewhere, I’m bringing a filled water bottle. Simple. Non-negotiable. Mission accomplished.
2. Move My Body In Any Capacity:
This could be aiming to get 10K steps a day (really anything about 7k is a win) or getting a workout in. Basically, for me it is something that is as important as eating a proper meal, taking a shower, or brushing my teeth.
I prioritize working out/moving for at least 20 minutes a day. This can also be broken up into smaller chunks throughout the day, like a 5 minute stretch in the morning, a 10 minute strength or cardio session, and a 5 minute walk after dinner. It doesn’t matter what it looks like as long as it happens, and I always feel better after it.
3. Go Outside:
This one is similar to “move my body in any capacity”. However, there is something so invigorating and healing about walking outside. And bonus points if it’s around trees, grass, and water.
This makes me feel good, and it helps me to recognize that the world is bigger than some of my little nagging problems during the day. There is so much beauty in the world and often it’s hidden or taken for granted.
4. Eat a Vegetable or Fruit at Meals (or hide it!)
I make an effort to eat healthier foods as much as I can, however, if I don’t have a benchmark to go by, it is pretty easy to “forget” to incorporate fruits and vegetables into my diet. Therefore, I aim to add fruits at snacks or as sweeter treats after a meal, and at least one vegetable at mealtimes. I also try to eat the veggie or fruit first before any other food item. In other words, I eat my salad first.
As a non-negotiable: basically, I don’t get to eat my granola bar until I’m done my apple.
Non-Fitness Related Non-Negotiables:
1. Wear My Wedding/Engagement Rings
I like wearing my wedding and engagement rings because they’re a sweet reminder of my love for my family. When I’m at work and the day is dragging on, those rings remind of what I have waiting for me at home.
I love wearing jewelry that has sentimental meaning, and this is one easy way I can incorporate gratitude into my day-to-day. When I’m away from home, it’s a non-negotiable to wear my rings.
2. Write in any capacity
Writing and journaling have become my outlet and passion. I feel good when I’m creating and when ideas are flowing. It helps me to get out of my head and I just find it fun.
However, writing, like a lot of things, requires practice to get better. I’m always looking to improve my writing skills and really refine my writing voice. So, for me, this is another non-negotiable.
Sometimes, I promise myself I’ll write for just 1 minute or even just write one sentence. More often than not, this turns into something longer or more in depth. But here, I consider anything a win.
3. Weekly day for myself
This is something new I’ve started doing. As a working mom of two very small children, it’s really hard to carve time out of the week for yourself. Not only does there not seem to be enough time in the day, but mom guilt is also something that I struggle with. I do truly want to be with my kids all the time, but sometimes the little cuties drive me bananas.
Having a weekly “date” with myself, to just do whatever I want has been so nice. It’s something that I look forward to and it helps me get through tough days at work and wild bedtime routines.
I’ve recently started playing golf and it’s been so fun to do something new that I’ve never done before. It’s also a pretty social game, and I have friends that I go to the driving range with regularly. I highly recommend trying something new where you’re a beginner – it gives you something to focus on and the new challenge of it can be so fun.
4. Daily Affirmation
It feels super kooky to say things like “I move through life with quiet confidence” out loud to yourself. But it works, and it helps you zero in on whatever goal(s) you may have.
Saying affirmations to myself daily has really helped me frame who I want to be at work and at home. I am a quieter person, and affirmations that tell me I am a person with something valuable to say does wonders when I’m about to socialize with other people.
I’ve been using ChatGPT to suggest and refine affirmations for whatever I’m feeling. If you’re looking for a prompt to start with, you can always just ask ChatGPT for “cool girl affirmations” and go from there.
Take-Away
So, what can you do today? Well, I’d suggest choosing one that I’ve listed and making it your goal for today. Start with adding just one and going from there – you want this to be fun, and not another to-do list.
Your own non-negotiables should be things that make you feel good, make you a better person/colleague/mom, and that are actually good for you!
What do you do if you miss your non-negotiables for the day? Well, please don’t panic and stress. Tomorrow is another opportunity to incorporate them.
Let me know what non-negotiables you’re going to try to out. Are there any great ones you’d recommend? Let me know in the comments!