This post is going to be a little bit more vulnerable than usual.
Recently, I messed up. I thought something was scheduled on a certain day, so I rearranged my entire work schedule around it. I made a big deal about needing time off and asked for an accommodation that ended up mildly inconveniencing others.
Long story short: I thought my kids’ daycare had a day off when they didn’t. I still have no idea why I even thought that, and my husband and I have been joking that I must have dreamt it.
Sounds pretty harmless, right? And it was. But what really stuck with me was what I said to myself after I found out I was wrong. I called myself stupid, a dummy, air-headed. I completely tore myself down.
Even writing this out now, I realize how ridiculous it sounds. It was such a small mistake. To quote Kourtney Kardashian, “Kim, there’s people that are dying.”
What also bothered me was realizing how I was modeling that kind of self-talk to my kids. I’d be devasted if they spoke to themselves the way I just did.
Once that clicked, I knew I needed to change something, and fast. I was on a one-way trip to “Ruminating-All-Night-Town”, so I had to stop the spiral.
How I Turned My Night Around
1. Wallow… then move on
If you need to, let yourself wallow. Sit in your self-pity for 5-10 minutes. It’s like eating too much Halloween Candy. You have a bunch after trick r’ treating and you get it out of your system. Set a timer, feel the feelings, then move on.
2. Stop the negative self-talk
Catch yourself in the act. Would you say that to your best friend? No? Then don’t say it to yourself. Words have power.
3. Talk to someone
I always call my mom. She knows how to provide comfort and perspective. In this case, she laughed, which honestly, I needed. It helped me take myself a little less seriously. If you don’t feel like talking, try journaling.
4. Give yourself grace
You’re human. I have two young kids (I know, I mention it a lot), and I’m running on a pretty constant sleep deficit. Mistakes are going to happen. I will make more mistakes. My husband will make mistakes. Your coworker, your neighbour, your barista, your best friend etc… will make mistakes. Own them, learn from them, and try again.
5. Go for a walk
This one helped the most. Moving my body helped me process everything and literally walk away from the negativity. It gave my nervous energy a purpose and cleared my head.
6. Ask yourself: will this matter in a year?
In a week? In a day? Probably not. I realized that in 48 hours no one will care. Of course, it’ll be a funny story later… but no one will “care”.
7. Reframe your mindset
Is there a small silver lining? For me, I still took the day off, and clearly, I needed it. I got a bonus day to rest, catch up, and reset. I felt so much better afterward.
I can be a person who has anxiety, but I don’t anxiety to have me. I want my kids to see that it’s okay to mess up. It’s how you recover that really matters.
These small mindset shifts can really make a big difference when you’re dealing with disappointment or a wave of self-criticism.
Have you ever spiraled over a small mistake? What helps you get back on track?