Healthy Mom Life

Tag: Moms

  • I Didn’t Expect This During My Third Pregnancy: Anxiety

    I Didn’t Expect This During My Third Pregnancy: Anxiety

    Is Anxiety During Pregnancy Normal?

    Anxiety during pregnancy is actually very common. Many expectant mothers experience moments of worry, racing thoughts, or feeling overwhelmed — especially if they’ve had complications in previous pregnancies. The challenge can be knowing when these feelings are normal pregnancy worries and when they might be signs of prenatal anxiety.

    I’m pregnant with my third baby! Since this is my third “rodeo”, a lot of things have felt very familiar, but what I didn’t expect this time around was the anxiety that came with it.

    We’re over the moon excited to be expanding our family and I daydream daily about the full table I’ll have filled with love. However, I’ve been struggling with moments of feeling overwhelmed and just a general sense of unease that’s making it hard to lean into the bittersweet moments of what will be my last pregnancy.

    My Experience with Pregnancy Anxiety:

    For me, I’ve had intrahepatic cholestasis of pregnancy for my first two pregnancies (let me know if you’d like me to write a post about my experiences with it!). Because I’ve had it before, I know I’ll likely get it again. That makes it hard not to be hypersensitive to every little itch on my hands and feet. One small twinge can send me into a thought spiral of “this is it, I have it again” and my brain refuses to listen to reason. I.e. like it’s pretty early to be getting it, your skin is just dry, the itching went away etc.. etc.. Also, I will be having a C-Section and the idea of another surgery and recovery is something that does scare me.

    And oh man, the number of “what if…?” questions that pop into my head have been really tough. There are so many horror stories online and there truly is a balance to staying informed versus being overburdened with the worst-case scenarios.

    Some days are really good, especially when the February sun is out and the birds are chirping. Other days, I’m a tightly wound ball of nerves that could have a little “menty-b” (mental breakdown) if a sad song comes on my playlist. Some country songs honestly need to be outlawed on public radio.

    In the evenings, after a long day of working full-time and running after my two littles, I also feel like the only thing my brain can focus on is worry. It’s like it says, “hey girlie, which worry from your suuuuuper long list do you want to tackle tonight? If you’re feeling up to it, we can cycle through 2! or even 3!”

    So, I’ve been asking myself, “is this normal?” And I looked into it.

    The short answer is: yes, it is.

    The long answer is: if it’s affecting you daily, there are solutions, and you’re not alone.

    So, if you’re experiencing something similar, please breathe a sigh of relief and take a relaxing nap or a bath, because everything will be ok.

    Normal Pregnancy Worry vs Prenatal Anxiety:

    Anxiety can be a big scary word that gets tossed around easily and it is a normal part of life even outside of being pregnant. But anxiety does exist on a spectrum with fluctuations being common. Pregnancy in particular, with all its hormonal shifts, sleep problems, birth anticipation, and work/life/family changes, can all contribute to feelings of anxiety and lack of control.

    However, normal pregnancy worry is often something that is transient. Meaning that it comes and goes. Today can be better than yesterday or even your afternoon can be better than your morning. Normal worry is often tied to specific triggers, like watching a particularly traumatic news segment or hearing your neighbor talk about their birth story. Further, this worry does get worse when you’re tired or stressed and you just don’t have the mental strength to overcome it or think clearly.

    Overall, normal pregnancy worry is just a small part of your day or week, it doesn’t feel like it’s consuming you or taking over your life. If you’re struggling with leaving your home, interacting with others, or ruminating for days, then it’s possible that you might have “prenatal anxiety”.

    Prenatal anxiety is persistent worry that consumes most days of your week. Often, it can result in trouble sleeping due to worry. I know sleep can be elusive during pregnancy, but this is a sleep disturbance beyond the common aches and pains of pregnancy. It is feeling constantly on edge or keyed up. Generally, with prenatal anxiety, moms-to-be report extreme difficulty in enjoying their pregnancy.

    How to Cope with Pregnancy Anxiety:

    So, if pregnancy anxiety is normal—but still overwhelming—what can you actually do about it? You can:

    1. Name the feeling: simply acknowledging that you’re feeling anxious can help you work towards feeling better.
    2. Keep a journal or diary and write down the thoughts that are causing you worry. Sometimes putting them down on paper minimizes the impact that they have.
    3. Reduce your triggers. If a certain social media account just gets you spiraling every time, no matter how good-intentioned it is, maybe it’s time to mute them or take a social media break. Honestly, we could all do this.
    4. Create a routine that you follow when you feel anxious or create a list of things that you know make you feel good. This could be calling a friend/family member, listening to music, getting some movement in, or just walking outside and breathing fresh air. Find what works specifically for you.
    5. Give yourself permission to rest. This one is hard, especially if you have other young children that you’re responsible for. But maybe, you just request an evening to yourself if you’re able to do so. Perhaps your husband does bath time, or maybe your mother-in-law bakes cookies with them? Find an hour to yourself if you can and use that time to rest and recharge.
    6. Take something off your plate. Are you feeling extra overwhelmed because trying to cook dinner with your kids screaming and crying after school is just too much? Can you sign up for a meal service? Or try meal prepping on the weekend when you have more flexibility. Let go of perfection and maybe also lean into chicken nuggets and frozen peas for a little while. Similarly, maybe the laundry just doesn’t get folded. Your family will still be able to get dressed if their clothes are in a pile. Better yet, off-load your chores to someone else. You’re growing a baby for goodness sakes!
    7. Create a happiness list. I have photos of my kids, happy TV shows, rom-com audio books and feel-good music on my rotation that I cycle through when I want a boost of dopamine. It’s also a great way to remind yourself that good things exist outside of your racing thoughts.
    8. Lean into what you can control. I believe pregnancy is particularly stressful for me because I don’t have constant feedback on how everything is going in my belly. For my situation, what I can control is my diet, exercise, and mindset. I can avoid sugar (which I’ve read can exacerbate cholestasis), and I can say positive things to myself.

    When to Talk to a Doctor:

    If you’re finding that more often than not, you’re feeling like your anxiety is taking over and the strategies above just are not working for you, it might be time to reach out to someone who can help. It’s important to know that this is something that you should not have to struggle through, there is help available and while reaching out might be the hardest step, it does not mean there is anything wrong with you or that you are less than.

    Primary care providers (or your OB/GYN) are here to support you and can provide referrals to mental health services, therapists, and in certain cases can suggest medications or treatments that will make a huge difference.

    Please reach out if you or your family is noticing that:

    • Your anxiety is increasing and does not seem to be ebbing and flowing
    • Your sleep is consistently disrupted, broken, or just “not enough”
    • You are feeling like you’re unable to cope with daily tasks, you’re ruminating for days, and things that once brought you joy no longer do.

    Asking for help does not mean you’re weak or broken. It actually means you are strong and you care about yourself, your family, and your baby. No one should have to experience this, especially not alone, and there are solutions.

    Pregnancy Is Hard and You’re Not Alone:

    Growing a baby is tough stuff. And while a lot of it is viewed with rose coloured glasses, there are some aspects of pregnancy that are nerve-racking, scary, and confusing.

    Know that fluctuations in your mood are normal and that you’re not the only pregnant person who feels this way. But also know, that if you feel something is off and you’re really struggling or lacking support, there are people who want to help you.

    Pregnancy can be beautiful, but it can also be overwhelming and uncertain.

    If you’re feeling anxious, worried, or just not like yourself right now, please know that you’re not alone. Many moms experience this—even during pregnancies they deeply wanted and planned.

    Give yourself grace. You’re doing something incredible.

    Sources:

    • American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists
    • March of Dimes – Mental health during pregnancy
    • Postpartum Support International – Perinatal anxiety information
  • Goal Setting for the Winter When Your Motivation is in Hibernation

    Goal Setting for the Winter When Your Motivation is in Hibernation

    The days are getting shorter, the weather is getting snowier, and honestly? All I want to do is curl with a blanket and become one with my couch.

    Winter, especially in Ontario, can be downright dreary. It’s hard to get excited about your week when the sun starts setting at 5pm. You wake up in the dark, spend your evening in the dark, and it feels like your only goal is simply surviving until spring.

    If you’re feeling like you’re coasting through the dark months of November, December, January, and February, you’re not alone. Goal setting in Spring and Summer feels effortless: people are out, events are happening, and being active outside takes zero planning. Your goals align naturally.

    Winter? Whole different vibe.

    The brightness of summer feels too far away to motivate anything long-term, and that’s totally fine and totally normal. You’re not missing out. You’re not falling behind. You’re not unmotivated. You’re in a different season, literally and emotionally.

    Here’s the truth: you can still set meaningful winter goals without having a full vision.

    Reframe Your Winter Goals: Think Smaller, Softer, and Seasonal

    Winter goals don’t need to be ambitious or life changing. They can be tiny sparks of joy woven throughout your day or “maintenance mode” habits you’re already doing well.

    And yes, obviously, many goals in winter must adapt to the weather. Training for a marathon? Amazing. Just layer up, invest in reflective gear, and expect the occasional snow day. Feeling festive? Make a goal to keep the holiday spirit alive in small ways. Want a seasonal goal that’s purely fun? Commit to a Hallmark movie every weekend for peak cozy vibes.

    This winter season can be about:

    Clarifying, not just conquering.

    Use this time to reflect on what you want, not necessarily chasing it straightaway.

    Resetting, not reinventing.

    Winter is the year’s build-in rest. Audit your pantry, refresh your wardrobe, or learn a small skill like keeping a sourdough starter alive.

    Resting, not rushing.

    Lean into the cozy. Think blankets, coffee, quiet nights, candles, and the simple gratitude of being inside while snow falls.

    Let’s rebrand winter as a natural season for gentler, softer goal setting. Release the pressure. You’re already doing better than you think.

    Continue reading below, if you’d like some actionable tips for goal setting in the winter.

    Tip 1: Start With How You Want to Feel

    When you don’t know what your goals are yet, begin with emotions instead of outcomes.

    For example:

    • “I want to feel grounded.”
    • “I want to feel calm.”
    • “I want to feel connected.”
    • “I want to feel like I’m taking small steps forward.”

    Then, turn those feelings into micro-goals.

    • Calm → 5 minutes of breathing or stretching daily
    • Connection → Text or meet one friend per week
    • Grounded → Morning journaling or evening gratitude check-ins

    Tip 2: Choose “Low-Lift” or “Micro” Goals Over Big Resolutions

    Low-lift goals require minimal effort but have a noticeable payoff.

    Examples of a low-lift goal could be:

    • Declutter one drawer or shelf per week.
    • Add one extra glass of water to your day.
    • Take a 10-minute morning walk.
    • Replace doom scrolling with reading.
    • Light a candle and stretch at night.
    • Reduce added sugar in one small way.

    Micro-goals stack up. No big overhaul needed – just tiny degrees of improvement.

    Tip 3: Create a Winter Bucket List (Even a Tiny One)

    Seasonal goals are perfect when long-term goals feel foggy. Lean into the cozy magic of winter.

    Some Ideas:

    • Try one new cozy recipe weekly.
    • Have a winter movie night (there are so many fun Christmas movies).
    • Walk outside during a snowfall. Romantic and magical.
    • Visit a local café and treat yourself to a holiday latte.
    • Do a winter craft with your kids like making an ornament.
    • Build a snowman. And why not throw in a snow angel or an impromptu snowball fight while you’re at it!

    The key to this bucket list: it needs to feel fun, doable, seasonal, and the exact opposite of a chore list. Looking for inspiration? Check out my kid-friendly Christmas bucket list:

    Download the Christmas Bucket List Here!

    Tip 4: Focus on “Maintenance Mode” Goals

    Sometimes the easiest thing to do, is to just keep doing what you’re doing. If you’ve built up a habit over the summer that you’re proud of, mark that down and make a point to keep going.

    Here are some suggested goals that aim to maintain the stability you may have already built the foundation for:

    • Keep up basic routines. Like journaling, getting your steps in, and meditation.
    • Protect your sleep. Dark months can hit your mood hard, help to prevent Seasonal Affective Disorder by getting your sleep.
    • Keep the house just organized enough. Think acceptable baseline, not perfection.
    • Support your mental health. Think going outside during the day, talking to friends, and taking vitamins.
    • Get some gentle movement in. Evening yoga or some mobility work is great during the winter. Check out YouTube for classes. Check out this mobility class from Nourish Move Love that I turn to regularly.

    These maintenance goals allow you to enter spring with energy instead of burnout.

    Tip 5: Use a Weekly Reset to Reassess What You Actually Want

    Pick a day (Sunday works well!) and check-in:

    • What worked?
    • What felt tough?
    • What lifted my mood?
    • What’s one thing I want to try next week?

    Winter is a season of reflection, so let goal setting be a conversation with yourself.

    Tip 6: Adopt the “Winter Try List” Instead of Goals

    A “try list” = no pressure to do the thing.

    What is a “try list”? It’s like a bucket list, but it focuses on things you’d maybe like to explore before fully committing to.

    Examples could be:

    • Try a new bedtime routine, like reading before bed instead of TV.
    • Try a new workout class. Finally sign up for that reformer Pilates class you’ve been eyeing.
    • Try meal-prepping 1–2 meals. Give it a try with a couple recipes rather than committing your whole week.
    • Try going to bed earlier.
    • Try going alcohol free.
    • Try marathon-style training without actually signing up.

    If it doesn’t stick? No guilt. Move on.

    Tip 7: Celebrate Micro-Accomplishments

    Winter is long, motivation is low, and every tiny win counts.

    • Went for a walk? Win.
    • Cleaned part of your house? Win.
    • Played with your kids? Win.
    • Showered on a tough day? Huge win.

    Momentum builds from the smallest sparks.

    ‘Tis the Season

    Winter goals don’t need to be grand. You really don’t have to train for that Hyrox competition, lose weight, or reinvent yourself. My own goals this season are simple: hit 8,000-10,000 steps a day, reduce my caffeine intake, and stay “unplugged” and off my phone when I’m with my kids.

    Come Spring, you’ll likely feel more clarity and motivation for something new. Until then? Grab your blanket, make a cozy Pinterest board, and just be.

    In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.

    Albert Camus
  • Golf Update #2

    Golf Update #2

    Golf is hard.

    As the end of the golf season approaches, I thought I’d do another golf update. First off, I know I’ve improved so much. Not just in my game, but my confidence. I’m no longer as nervous to play with other people, and I just have the attitude of going out there and having fun! I’ve learned a lot, and it’s been fun having a completely new hobby for me.

    What I’ve done since my last update:

    I’ve finished up my fall golf ladies league with Iron Ladies golf, and I had such a positive experience. Not only did I get to know some great women, but I also got out of the house and was able to enjoy the last remaining beautifully warm days of September. We had a games night, and I won the closest to the pin on a par 3. To me, that’s absolutely unreal and I never would have guessed I could do that if you had asked me at the start of my playing (just over 3 months ago).

    I did have such a great experience that I will be joining their fall indoor league. Mostly, to keep up what I’ve learned and to have something to look forward to as the days get colder and darker.

    I’ve also continued to golf a bit here and there with my husband when we have the childcare available. We just golfed the Homestead at Wolf Ridge Golf Course in Killaloe when we were visiting my parents for Thanksgiving and the colours of the leaves were breath taking.

    Not my best photo – I was just too dialed in to take anything. Also, my fingers were cold. But Wolf Ridge is one of my favourite courses!

    What I’m working on:

    My driver is my biggest work-in-progress. I’m slicing right almost every time. I’ve recently adjusted my grip (i.e. my husband suggested the grip change last week), and if that’s the magic key I’ll be a happy girl.

    I’m feeling good with my pitching and sand wedge. But me and my irons are not friends.

    So overall, I’ve got a bunch of things to work on over the indoor league and I’m feeling stoked for that opportunity.

    What I’ve learned over the last few months:

    I did want to put together a list of things I wish I had the opportunity to tell myself when I first started playing. Hopefully, they might help someone else who is starting out!

    1. Golf is hard. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can be as good as some people who have played for years. But the learning and the growing are the fun parts. You’ll make an amazing putt, drive or chip and that will keep you coming back.
    2. There is no one way to swing a golf club. There are obviously better ways, but often you have to be the one to find them for yourself. What works for the pro at the course might not work for you.
    3. Use each hole as a blank slate. The terrible putting you did on the last hole doesn’t have to follow you the whole game.
    4. Cute clothes make the biggest difference. If you feel cute, you’ll play better. It’s science.
    5. Practice. No explanation needed.

    I hope you all had a great golf season! See you on my next golf update!

  • How “Non-Negotiable” Daily Habits Can Change Your Life and Easy Ones You Can Start Today!

    How “Non-Negotiable” Daily Habits Can Change Your Life and Easy Ones You Can Start Today!

    Happy August! Or as I like to say, happy “fall-lite”. I do hate saying that, but it’s hard to ignore the fact that our Ontario weather is starting to cool down, the sun is setting earlier, and I’m sitting here craving a latte. I’m just mentally trying to get into the headspace that summer is coming to a close and the lovely warm weather will be behind us soon.

    Recently, I’ve been reading and hearing a lot about daily “non-negotiables”. Essentially, they’re a daily habit that you simply cannot skip. You can think of them as business meetings with your most important client (aka you) – cancelling them would be in bad taste. They’re a little sprinkle of self-care that should be as important to you as brushing your teeth.

    I absolutely love the idea of incorporating “non-negotiable” habits into your day or week because it allows us moms the permission to prioritize ourselves without feeling guilty. And *say it with me now* you can’t pour from an empty cup!

    Like, do ever you feel guilty for brushing your teeth? Of course not.

    That is what non-negotiables should feel like.

    Here are my current “non-negotiables” that I sneak into my day to help me be my best self. You can easily take inspiration from mine or create your own. They can be as big or small as you want, but they just have to make you a little bit healthier and bring you a little bit closer to living your most aspirational life:

    Health and Fitness Related Non-Negotiables

    1. Drinking Water:

    Ok, starting the list off strong with a very basic survival activity. I try to have my first drink of the day be water. Really, I just aim to have a few healthy gulps before I chug a bunch of caffeine in the morning.

    I recently got a Larq water bottle, and I love it! It filters the water well, and the tracking/reminder to drink features are a fun bonus. Another easy way to drink more water, aside from flavouring it or buying a new water bottle, is to drink a couple of big gulps after every bathroom break. Not super groundbreaking, but it’s something that’s easy to make a habit.

    How is this a non-negotiable? I tell myself I can’t start my day without water, and I prioritize water throughout the day. When I go somewhere, I’m bringing a filled water bottle. Simple. Non-negotiable. Mission accomplished.

    2. Move My Body In Any Capacity:

    This could be aiming to get 10K steps a day (really anything about 7k is a win) or getting a workout in. Basically, for me it is something that is as important as eating a proper meal, taking a shower, or brushing my teeth.

    I prioritize working out/moving for at least 20 minutes a day. This can also be broken up into smaller chunks throughout the day, like a 5 minute stretch in the morning, a 10 minute strength or cardio session, and a 5 minute walk after dinner. It doesn’t matter what it looks like as long as it happens, and I always feel better after it.

    3. Go Outside:

    This one is similar to “move my body in any capacity”. However, there is something so invigorating and healing about walking outside. And bonus points if it’s around trees, grass, and water.

    This makes me feel good, and it helps me to recognize that the world is bigger than some of my little nagging problems during the day. There is so much beauty in the world and often it’s hidden or taken for granted.

    4. Eat a Vegetable or Fruit at Meals (or hide it!)

    I make an effort to eat healthier foods as much as I can, however, if I don’t have a benchmark to go by, it is pretty easy to “forget” to incorporate fruits and vegetables into my diet. Therefore, I aim to add fruits at snacks or as sweeter treats after a meal, and at least one vegetable at mealtimes. I also try to eat the veggie or fruit first before any other food item. In other words, I eat my salad first.

    As a non-negotiable: basically, I don’t get to eat my granola bar until I’m done my apple.

    Non-Fitness Related Non-Negotiables:

    1. Wear My Wedding/Engagement Rings

    I like wearing my wedding and engagement rings because they’re a sweet reminder of my love for my family. When I’m at work and the day is dragging on, those rings remind of what I have waiting for me at home.

    I love wearing jewelry that has sentimental meaning, and this is one easy way I can incorporate gratitude into my day-to-day. When I’m away from home, it’s a non-negotiable to wear my rings.

    2. Write in any capacity

    Writing and journaling have become my outlet and passion. I feel good when I’m creating and when ideas are flowing. It helps me to get out of my head and I just find it fun.

    However, writing, like a lot of things, requires practice to get better. I’m always looking to improve my writing skills and really refine my writing voice. So, for me, this is another non-negotiable.

    Sometimes, I promise myself I’ll write for just 1 minute or even just write one sentence. More often than not, this turns into something longer or more in depth. But here, I consider anything a win.

    3. Weekly day for myself

    This is something new I’ve started doing. As a working mom of two very small children, it’s really hard to carve time out of the week for yourself. Not only does there not seem to be enough time in the day, but mom guilt is also something that I struggle with. I do truly want to be with my kids all the time, but sometimes the little cuties drive me bananas.

    Having a weekly “date” with myself, to just do whatever I want has been so nice. It’s something that I look forward to and it helps me get through tough days at work and wild bedtime routines.

    I’ve recently started playing golf and it’s been so fun to do something new that I’ve never done before. It’s also a pretty social game, and I have friends that I go to the driving range with regularly. I highly recommend trying something new where you’re a beginner – it gives you something to focus on and the new challenge of it can be so fun.

    4. Daily Affirmation

    It feels super kooky to say things like “I move through life with quiet confidence” out loud to yourself. But it works, and it helps you zero in on whatever goal(s) you may have.

    Saying affirmations to myself daily has really helped me frame who I want to be at work and at home. I am a quieter person, and affirmations that tell me I am a person with something valuable to say does wonders when I’m about to socialize with other people.

    I’ve been using ChatGPT to suggest and refine affirmations for whatever I’m feeling. If you’re looking for a prompt to start with, you can always just ask ChatGPT for “cool girl affirmations” and go from there.

    Take-Away

    So, what can you do today? Well, I’d suggest choosing one that I’ve listed and making it your goal for today. Start with adding just one and going from there – you want this to be fun, and not another to-do list.

    Your own non-negotiables should be things that make you feel good, make you a better person/colleague/mom, and that are actually good for you!

    What do you do if you miss your non-negotiables for the day? Well, please don’t panic and stress. Tomorrow is another opportunity to incorporate them.

    Let me know what non-negotiables you’re going to try to out. Are there any great ones you’d recommend? Let me know in the comments!