My New Year’s Resolution this year was to learn names. I know – it’s very basic and a bit embarrassing. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized how awful my excuse of “I’m just terrible with faces” is – it makes me sound lazy and flippant. And c’mon, everyone likes to be remembered. The moment someone I’ve met only briefly remembers my name or one of my kid’s names, I’m instantly impressed, and I like them even more.
However, I’m in the thick of parenting with two small kids under 3, and I find my brain just isn’t firing quite like it used to. The lack of sleep, lack of R&R, constant housework, and returning to work have led to the perfect storm of “mom brain”.
Mom Brain: the forgetfulness and brain fog that occurs after having a child
So, if you’re like me and find that some thoughts just *poof* disappear from your head if you’re not careful, then here are a couple tips that you can start using to improve your memory and combat “mom brain”.
Tip #1: Write things down
This is the biggest and best thing you can do to help you remember something. The list could probably stop here if I wanted it to.
Basically, if there is something important you need to remember, you should write it down. At work, I’ve started volunteering to take meeting notes, just because it forces me to a) pay attention and b) have a copy of what happened that I’ve transcribed. This makes me more aware of what happened in the meeting mostly because I either remember it being said or I remember physically writing (or typing) it.
For my day-to-day, I have a few notes saved to my phone that hit on important things in my life. Like my to-do list, grocery list, meal list, book list, ideas list etc… If I don’t write down a thought I have, it’s gone. Similarly, once you book an appointment, put that directly into your calendar. Don’t wait to do it later, put it directly into your phone’s calendar ASAP.
Tip #2: Try to Prioritize Sleep
I’m sorry to include this in my list – but you do need sleep. You’ll be fighting a losing battle without it. Now, I’m not trying to tell you to go to bed at 8:00pm, because for some families with littles, that’s unfortunately not realistic. What I am trying to say is: evaluate how you feel. If you’re a little spacey, on edge, or just not feeling yourself, maybe go to bed instead of watching another episode of Netflix.
Tip #3: Use Mnemonics
Whenever I think of mnemonics, I’m immediately transported back to grade school history and trying to memorize dates with my mom before a test. I find mnemonics to be boring, but they do work.
Essentially, they’re a personalized memory hack – it can be special patterns, rhymes, songs, or stories to help you create an association in your mind for whatever it is you want to remember.
For example, there is an emotional support dog in my office building. He’s absolutely adorable and I want to remember this cutie-patootie’s name. His name is “Jack”. He’s unfortunately missing one of his eyes. Pirates wear an eye-patch to cover one of their eyes. Captain Jack Sparrow is a famous pirate. Ergo, I think of Captain Jack when I see him and remember that “Jack” is this pup’s name.
I’ve also heard of people repeating names back when they are introduced to someone new. Like: “Hi, my name’s Jessica.” “Oh hi! Jessica, was it?”.
Sometimes, just a little song or repetition can do wonders to help you remember.
Tip #4: Eat Well
Your body wants whole, nutritious food and your brain runs best when it’s fueled properly. So, try your best to nourish your body with good, healthy, nutrient dense foods.
I feel like we all know by now that excessive sugar and caffeine can wreak havoc on our body systems and our moods. Do yourself a favour and try your best to eat well.
I follow the 80/20 rule when eating. Basically, I aim to eat as much whole, nutritious foods as possible but I’ll throw in a few treats here and there. I have a sweet tooth, so I’ll generally throw in something on the sweeter side during the day. If you find the majority of your food choices are fruits, veggies, protein sources, and complex carbohydrates – you’re good. If not, there is always room for improvement.
Tip #5: Pay Attention When Your Routine Changes
Our brain simplifies our life by often running on autopilot throughout the day. This is why you might not remember locking your door before you left the house even though you definitely did.
But this all gets shaken up with changes to our routines. This is how clothes, school bags, coffee cups, work bags, lunches etc… can get forgotten when we’re rushing somewhere new. Our brains haven’t had time to process the new stimuli into habits.
Therefore, with any changes to your routine, make sure you’re taking a quick, slightly more in-depth assessment of everything you need and have to do. Also, maybe write them down.
Tip #6: Live in the Moment and Use Your 5 Senses
Running on autopilot can be great to accomplish everyday tasks (i.e. see tip #5 above), but it’s not great for your memory. When you start to make an effort to “live in the moment” you’ll pay more attention to the things that are happening around you.
Take a few minutes every so often in your day to pay attention to your surroundings. The easiest way to accomplish this is to use your senses and narrate it in your head with 1-2 sentences each:
- What do you see?
- What do you smell?
- What do you taste?
- What do you feel/what are you touching?
- What do you hear?
Bonus: this can also work to ground you if you’re feeling anxious.
Tip #7: Review Your Notes and Calendars
You know those notes I talking about you writing in the first tip – you should probably review them on a somewhat regular basis. Not only does this keep them at the forefront of your mind, but it also helps you avoid making a duplicate note.
Also, review your family calendars at least on a week-to-week basis. You want to avoid having events pop-up when you’re expecting a free weekend, or having double booked your kids to two parties on the same day at the same time (guilty!).
Just take a few minutes before you fall asleep on Sunday to check out the amazing week ahead of you.
Tip #8: Know Your Capacity and Limitations
You know yourself best, and at the end of the day, you know if you’re pushing yourself past your limits. If you’re in the thick of “mom-ing” and your kids are small, give yourself a little break and know that sometimes things will slip through the cracks. And really, “mom-brain” can be the perfect, funny excuse. Did you forget to put on mascara this morning? Or is your shirt on backwards? Well, that’s mom brain. It can be hilarious and quirky and innocently goofy.
