Healthy Mom Life

Category: Working Moms

  • In Defense of the Lazy Mom (Especially at Christmas)

    In Defense of the Lazy Mom (Especially at Christmas)

    Fa la la la laaaaa

    Every year around this time, my social media feed fills up with images of moms who seem to have mastered Christmas. Perfectly coordinated pajamas. Homemade hot chocolate bombs. Gingerbread houses that look like they were designed by professional architects. Elves on shelves living their best (and most mischievous) lives. And I love the idea of it all. Everything looks and seems perfect.

    But then I play the comparison game, and I realize I don’t even have an elf on the shelf. My Christmas gifts will most all likely be bought in the three days before Christmas. And the baking I do will be a Pinterest versus reality type situation.

    I’ve noticed that I start to feel the little mom-guilt itch kick in, and I keep thinking I should be doing more. As mom, aren’t I the one responsible for creating the loving childhood memories my kids will look back on fondly? What if everything I’m trying hard to do just doesn’t cut it?

    But I’ve decided that needs to change. I’m embracing my inner “lazy mom” — and I think she might be the best version of me yet.

    What Being a “Lazy Mom” Really Means

    Let’s be clear: when I say lazy, I don’t mean careless or useless. I mean calm. Intentional. Grounded.

    Being a “lazy mom” doesn’t mean you love your kids any less. It means you’ve decided to stop running yourself into the ground trying to prove how much you love them. It’s choosing presence over perfection, connection over chaos, and laughter over lists.

    Because honestly? Our kids don’t care about themed wrapping paper or hand-painted ornaments. They care about us — the tone of our voice, the way we smile when they show us something, the moments when we’re really there.

    The Pressure to Be the “Perfect Mom”

    Somehow, motherhood — especially during the holidays — has become a performance (and in some circles, a competition).

    We’re expected to create traditions that are magical, meals that are 5 courses, and memories that dazzle on camera. There’s this unspoken rule that a “good mom” goes above and beyond at Christmas. And does it all with perfect makeup, a bouncy blow-out, and the cutest clothes.

    Who are we trying to impress? My 3-year-old wears his pants backward and takes his shirt off the first chance he gets.

    I know behind every perfect Instagram photo or TikTok reel is a mom who probably hasn’t sat down all day. Who’s exhausted. Who’s trying so hard to make it special that she’s missing it while it’s happening. Who probably feels like she’s not being appreciated for all the work she’s putting in.

    And if we’re being honest — none of that pressure is what Christmas is about.

    “Why is this so important? Christmas is about more than just ribbons and bows.”

    Cindy Lou Who

    The Magic of Letting Go

    When I vocalized the permission to do less and be lazy, everything changed. A weight (one Santa’s bag of presents worth) I didn’t know I was carrying disappeared.

    This year, instead of baking four kinds of cookies, all iced with intricate designs. We’re making one batch — maybe it will be the pre-cut kind from the grocery store or maybe it will be homemade. We’ll see how we feel. My kids can overload, *cough*, I mean decorate them with so much icing they become inedible and I won’t be able to give them to anyone outside our family, but we will have the best time. This is what I want to remember: not everyone swooning over the pretty cookies, but the little giggles we had making them.

    Maybe we won’t wear the adorable matching Christmas pajamas, and everyone can wear what they want. For my son, that means clothing optional and my daughter will probably wear something with a unicorn or a cat. It will still be a cozy, messy, joy-filled Christmas morning that feels more us than anything.

    And here’s the thing I’m realizing when you stop chasing perfection or the approval of other, you make space for connection with those who matter the most.

    Your Kids Don’t Need the “Most” — They Need You

    Our kids aren’t keeping score or setting expectations. They won’t remember whether the wrapping paper and bow matched or if the tree was decorated just so. They’ll remember the feeling of the holidays. The warmth of being together, the laughter echoing through the house, the peace of a mom who wasn’t rushing, huffing, or worrying.

    So maybe being a “lazy mom” isn’t lazy at all. Maybe it’s brave. Maybe it’s choosing to step off the hamster wheel of comparison and say, “what I’m doing is enough. I am enough.”

    “Maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store. I think maybe Christmas means a little bit more.”

    Cindy Lou Who

    This Christmas, Let’s Redefine “Lazy”

    Let’s choose rest and relaxation. Let’s choose joy. Let’s choose messy bun imperfection.

    Let’s buy the desserts, skip the matching outfits, and say yes to the perfectly imperfect real-life moments that make this season meaningful.

    Because at the end of the day, our kids won’t remember how picture-perfect it looked — they’ll remember how they felt.

    And if it felt calm, cozy, and full of love — that’s the kind of Christmas worth celebrating.

    Maybe being a lazy mom isn’t lazy at all — maybe it’s just a mom who finally knows what matters most.

  • Hey Mom, get a hobby!

    Hey Mom, get a hobby!

    Why should kids have all the fun?

    A few months ago, I had an epiphany that changed my whole perspective. I’m enrolling my 3-year-old into all these fun sports and activities and he’s having the best time having something to look forward to during the week. Why am I not doing the same for myself?

    It was getting to the point where every day started to feel like a carbon copy of the one before: a mad dash to work, actual work, dinner, clean-up, the never-ending bedtime routine, then collapse into bed and repeat. One morning, I realized I really hadn’t done anything for myself in weeks. On a whim, I decided to sign up for a reformer Pilates class. My first in-person fitness class in over 2 years. And guess what? I LOVED it.

    I didn’t just love it because of the glute burn, I loved it because it was “me time”. It was something I had in my calendar that was just for me, no small children in attendance, no chores or to-do list involved. I walked to the class, listened to a podcast on the way, did the class, and came back refreshed, a little sore, and so ready to jump back into being a mom.

    I had been spending so much time focused on my kids and what activities they should be doing next, that I forgot I’m here too. I’ve enrolled my boy in soccer, gymnastics, skating, swimming, but had put my interests on the backburner.

    Once I realized that I could enroll myself in fun classes or try new things, I started brainstorming easy ways to do that, because afterschool/afterwork hobbies aren’t just for kids. There really are so many activities you can do to cultivate your “mom me-time” and get your spark back.

    The social recharge: wine and paint nights, book clubs, walking groups

    The something new energy: pottery, paddle boarding, dance class, horse-back riding, singing lessons

    The solo reset: gardening, yoga, volunteering, painting

    The fresh air favourites: hiking, running, golf

    The energy boosters: sports clubs, fitness classes

    You don’t have to master any one thing. I’ve realized that just showing up counts. Sometimes the hobby isn’t the activity itself, it’s the permission to leave the house for yourself.

    Throw away the mom-guilt and ignore the little voice that says, “this is a waste” or “what if I don’t like it?” Any of these activities can remind you that you’re a person outside of your family, and help you come back refreshed, ready to tackle the dishes, the tantrums, or the laundry pile(s).

    Let me know if you give any of these things a try! I’m starting an indoor golf league next Monday, and I could not be more excited to have something to look forward to, something to get better at, and something where I can meet other people!

  • Mid-Week Pick-Me Up for Busy Moms

    5 things you can do to get you motivated, back-on-track, and “present” with your family

    I don’t know about you, but sometimes I start to develop bad habits. I’m talking spending too much time on social media, eating too much sugar, and just genuinely being stressed out. These habits sort of snowball into each other and tend to get worse before I reach a breaking point (aka I feel exhausted and so guilty that I’m not on my best behaviour for my kids).

    A big reason this all happens is due to fatigue (being a mom is tiring!), not prioritizing myself, and just feeling a general sense of demotivation.

    So, here’s a mid-week pick-me-up list that will help you get out of a “funk”, cultivate healthier habits, and get you slowing down and appreciating the little things. January and Mondays aren’t just for starting over – let’s make Wednesdays our mid-week mood-booster!

    1) Find a fun drink and make it

    This can be fruit in water or a non-alcoholic drink. Make it something fun, hydrating or gut-boosting, and something that brings a little extra oomph over the usual.

    For Fall, I’m loving cinnamon everything. You can add sliced apples or pears, a little cinnamon, and a little maple syrup to water to have a fun hydrating autumn-themed water. Or you can make this non-alcoholic cocktail with me:

    Pumpkin Ginger Spice Spritz from Nourished with Jessica.

    2) Make a fun food/snack

    I love having a nice baked good to look forward to at work. For this season, I’m loving banana break, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin cookies, oatmeal cookies, and apple crisp. Basically, all the spicey, cozy bakes.

    I’m making these healthy pumpkin swirl brownies for this weekend.

    But I’ve also recently made these apple cinnamon energy bites and I’ve been OBSESSED:

    Ingredients:

    • 1 cup rolled oats
    • 1/2 cup peanut or almond or sunflower seed butter
    • 1/4 cup honey or maple syrup (I mixed the two)
    • 1/3 cup finely chopped dried apples
    • cinnamon or pumpkin pie spice
    • mini white chocolate chips

    Add everything together in a bowl and mix. Form into tablespoon sized balls and store in the refrigerator. These taste like fall in a snack, and I love the texture of the apple pieces. I also love anything with chocolate chips in it.

    3) Prioritize 1 healthy habit

    Ok, so you’ve realized your healthy habits and goals have been slipping. Don’t stress, we’re all human. Choose one that’s going to make a big impact and make it your priority for the rest of the week. This can be drinking more water, walking more, or eating more fruits and veggies.

    For me, I’m going to make my habit putting my phone down when I’m with my children. And recognizing when I start to “doom scroll” and replace it with something better for me – like reading on my Kobo!

    4) Hit your step count

    Walking is so good for you. Just period. Straight talk. A few reasons to go for a walk:

    • you get fresh air if you walk outside
    • any kind of daily movement is good for you
    • it lowers your stress level
    • boosts your productivty and creativity
    • lowers anxiety and gets you out of your head
    • it can be used as a form of meditation and reflection

    I like to aim for 7,000 – 10,000 steps a day. Even just going for a quick 20-minute walk outside can provide you with so much benefit. For busy moms, wearing a step counter and just doing a general tidy around the house can really rack up your step count. Try to fit it in where you can, even bringing your kids with you on a walk after school or before bed can be a great way to incorporate it into your day.

    5) Schedule something for yourself

    If you take anything away from this list, I think it should be this: do something fun for you. You can schedule a nail appointment, a haircut, organize a girls’ night, go to a golf range. Just try to find something fun for yourself to do and schedule it in. Not only will you look forward to it (hello first dopamine boost) but you’ll get to have fun (hello second dopamine boost).

    I’m choosing to do a facial for myself. I haven’t been in forever, and after doing bedtimes by myself for the last week, I think I can treat myself especially well.

    Try it out!

    I hope you like this easy mid-week reset list! When you start to feel a little blah and unmotivated, it’s time for a bit of a brain re-set. Giving yourself these little wins and things to get excited about can really help your mood. It’s a micro-dose of romanticizing your life. These little things to boost your mood and well-being can make all the difference.

    You deserve it!

  • Golf Update #2

    Golf Update #2

    Golf is hard.

    As the end of the golf season approaches, I thought I’d do another golf update. First off, I know I’ve improved so much. Not just in my game, but my confidence. I’m no longer as nervous to play with other people, and I just have the attitude of going out there and having fun! I’ve learned a lot, and it’s been fun having a completely new hobby for me.

    What I’ve done since my last update:

    I’ve finished up my fall golf ladies league with Iron Ladies golf, and I had such a positive experience. Not only did I get to know some great women, but I also got out of the house and was able to enjoy the last remaining beautifully warm days of September. We had a games night, and I won the closest to the pin on a par 3. To me, that’s absolutely unreal and I never would have guessed I could do that if you had asked me at the start of my playing (just over 3 months ago).

    I did have such a great experience that I will be joining their fall indoor league. Mostly, to keep up what I’ve learned and to have something to look forward to as the days get colder and darker.

    I’ve also continued to golf a bit here and there with my husband when we have the childcare available. We just golfed the Homestead at Wolf Ridge Golf Course in Killaloe when we were visiting my parents for Thanksgiving and the colours of the leaves were breath taking.

    Not my best photo – I was just too dialed in to take anything. Also, my fingers were cold. But Wolf Ridge is one of my favourite courses!

    What I’m working on:

    My driver is my biggest work-in-progress. I’m slicing right almost every time. I’ve recently adjusted my grip (i.e. my husband suggested the grip change last week), and if that’s the magic key I’ll be a happy girl.

    I’m feeling good with my pitching and sand wedge. But me and my irons are not friends.

    So overall, I’ve got a bunch of things to work on over the indoor league and I’m feeling stoked for that opportunity.

    What I’ve learned over the last few months:

    I did want to put together a list of things I wish I had the opportunity to tell myself when I first started playing. Hopefully, they might help someone else who is starting out!

    1. Golf is hard. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can be as good as some people who have played for years. But the learning and the growing are the fun parts. You’ll make an amazing putt, drive or chip and that will keep you coming back.
    2. There is no one way to swing a golf club. There are obviously better ways, but often you have to be the one to find them for yourself. What works for the pro at the course might not work for you.
    3. Use each hole as a blank slate. The terrible putting you did on the last hole doesn’t have to follow you the whole game.
    4. Cute clothes make the biggest difference. If you feel cute, you’ll play better. It’s science.
    5. Practice. No explanation needed.

    I hope you all had a great golf season! See you on my next golf update!

  • How to Fight the Monday Blues

    How to Fight the Monday Blues

    I’ve taken a little bit of break since my last post just to soak up the last few days of summer before fall hits us full force. I’ve been busy with seeing family, feeling swamped at work, daycare transitions, and with trying to enjoy my own birthday.

    My daughter just transitioned from a home daycare to starting at the same care centre as my son. While my mom heart melts when I see them playing when I pick them up, and my husband reports that they hold hands when he drops them off, it’s still been a change for my little girl and something we’ve all had to adjust to. Small shout out to the runny nose and cough she’s had since the third day she started….

    Recently, I’ve been finding that I look so forward to the weekends, only to have those two precious days fly by in a blink. Then, on Monday morning I’m right back to counting down the days until the weekend and feeling a little blah. The weather getting colder and the sun rising later is also not helping.

    For this reason, I’ve decided to put together a little list on how to conquer the Monday blues and get yourself excited for the week!

    1) Designate Sunday as a “Prep” or “Reset” Day

    I like using Sundays as a planned “slower” day, and as a day to prep for the rest of the week. Some prep I like to do is:

    • Setting out clothes (the kids and my work clothes) for the week
    • Finally getting around to folding the mountains of laundry that have accumulated over the week
    • Do a light clean of the house, such as a general tidy. I like to focus on cleaning the toy room.
    • Write out a grocery list and plan some meals for the week
    • Brainstorm some activities or fun things to do with the kids

    For your Sunday, try to focus on having a calmer day. Maybe, end your Sunday night with some self-care or something relaxing before bed. My favourites are some light stretching, reading, journaling, or a lovely full body shower where you shave your legs.

    2) Allow Yourself a Reward

    I’m going to start practising “mini reward Monday”. I’ve decided that I’ll give myself permission to get that pumpkin spice latte or cold brew with pumpkin spice cold foam at Starbucks. Both absolutely awesome, especially if you get sugar-free syrup. For now, I’m just going to plan something small that gives me a little pick-me-up (or when it comes to coffee a little pep-in-my-step) to make the Monday a little brighter.

    You can also totally DIY your own versions of the Starbucks drinks pretty easily. I’ll post my own recipes later!

    3) Start with Easy Wins

    I love a slow Monday, and jumping into the hardest task on my to-do list is really hard to muster up the motivation for. I suggest tackling your easier tasks and then building up to your more involved tasks as you build momentum. Crossing easy things off your to-do list also provides such a dopamine boost that will not only lift your mood, but make you feel like you can accomplish anything.

    4) Move Your Body

    Getting up and moving is such a hack for resetting your mood and getting out of your head. You can either prioritize a work-out, stretch, or go for a walk. Since I’m lucky enough to be at home on Mondays for my job, my goal is to walk my beautiful cockapoo Abby at least twice during the day. It’s good for her and it’s good for me.

    Right now, the crispy fall weather is just starting, and it feels so cozy to go for a walk outside. I love a light jacket or sweater on my walks and it’s going to get even better when the leaves start to change.

    5) Mindset Reframes

    I love mindset reframing. It’s so helpful for your mood and your motivation. For your Monday, instead of focusing on the countdown to the weekend, or dreading the week-long slog, choose activities during the week that you’re excited for. Right now, I’m looking forward to my ladies’ golf night on Mondays and taking my kids to the library on Thursday for some new bedtime books.

    6) Reduce the Rush

    Weekends are the perfect environment to become a little lax with your routine. It can be so easy to sleep in or go to bed later when you don’t have a workday to plan around. It can be hard but try to keep your routine as consistent as possible during the weekends, though obviously an hour here or there won’t ruin things. Your Monday self will thank you when waking up for work on Monday is that much easier. No one likes a manic Monday, where you’re snoozing your alarm and rushing into work.

    Aim to give yourself at least 10 minutes in the morning to slowly start ease into your day and to get in the right headspace. Check out this post on my 10-minute morning routine for a slower, less-stressful start to your day!

    Make Monday Your Best Day of the Week

    Monday gets such a bad rap, but if you use it as a reset/mindset shift day, it can easily become your favourite day of the week. It’s an opportunity to set the tone for the week to come and to prioritize yourself.

    Let me know if you have any suggestions to help battle those pesky Monday Blues!

    Abby says “you can do it!”

  • The 10-Minute Morning Routine that Changed My Mom Life

    The 10-Minute Morning Routine that Changed My Mom Life

    With two kids under 4 and working full time, I find it so hard to incorporate time for myself, especially in the mornings.

    My mornings have often felt like a mad dash to get the kids dressed, fed, and driven to school. They’ve felt like Olympic sprints to beat the clock and getting myself ready and packed for work has turned into an afterthought. Man, what a way to start the day – who doesn’t love a solid dose of chaos in the morning?

    However, over the last few months, I’ve given my mornings a major overhaul and have prioritized a quick routine for myself that focusses on a slower, more relaxed start to my day. This has given me a solid foundation to be my best self to tackle whatever curve ball life throws later and I feel more organized with my family’s rush out the door.

    Read on for my life-changing 10-minute morning!

    Ground Rules:

    On Sleep: I want you to know that employing good sleep hygiene is key to a relaxed morning. This means going to bed at a reasonable time in order for you to wake up feeling rested and not like a walking zombie. There are a lot of supplements and tools, like a sunrise alarm clock, to help you fall asleep and wake up gradually. But focus on the fundamentals before spending money or time on those extras. Having a bedtime routine, reducing afternoon caffeine, and avoiding stimulating activities close to bedtime will go a long way towards improving your sleep.

    On Wake Time: If you want to have time for a 10-minute morning routine, you will also need to wake up at least 10 minutes before your children. If they’re 7am-ers, set your alarm for around 6:45am. Give yourself a buffer of at least 5 minutes.

    On Motivation: I also want you to find a motivator to wake up that truly resonates with you. Is it the alone time you crave? The first quiet sip of coffee by yourself? Or is it watching a few minutes of that highly child-inappropriate police procedural that has you excited to get out of bed? Having a good motivator is so important when the sky is still dark and it’s freezing everywhere but your bedsheets.

    On Life Phase: Please note that if you’re in the phase of life where you have a very young baby and you’re waking up multiple times in the night, this might not be something for you. And that’s ok! That’s the era you’re in, and while it doesn’t seem like it now, it won’t be forever. Enjoy those cute baby snuggles with their sweaty little heads.

    Minute 1-2: Wake-Up

    Wake up and leave your bed as soon as you can. The longer you stay, the harder it is to leave. Scrolling Instagram can also eat your time without you realizing it and then your earlier morning will be gone.

    I do not set more than 2 alarms. The first one is the time I want to get up at, say 5:15am. The second is my backup alarm in case I oversleep the first, roughly 5:30am. For me, setting only the two alarms makes me take the first alarm more seriously. Like ok, if I don’t get up now, I’m sleeping in and missing out.

    Waking up earlier does get easier the more consistent you are with your bedtime and waketime. Also, being very gradual in moving your alarms earlier does help. If I want to change wake-times, I gradually move it by 10-15 minutes each week. This gives my body plenty of time to adjust and ease into earlier wakeups without much trouble.

    I love this podcast episode by Kaylie Stewart on her Hot Girl Energy Podcast – “become a 5am morning girly”. She gives actionable advice for waking up earlier and her motivational energy is infectious.

    Minute 2-3: Body Refresh

    Splash cold water on your face. Cold water does seem to help wake me up and I also use this opportunity to put sunscreen on so that I’m ready for the day.

    Minute 3-4: Hydrate

    Hydrate with a big glass of water. I add half a pack of electrolyte powder to my very cold water in the morning and it’s something I look forward to. I find it so refreshing after waking up and I feel more energized. Right now, I’m using LMNT electrolyte powder that I order from Amazon, but any brand that you love works!

    Minute 4-5: Eat Something

    This can be a few bites of yogurt, a banana, or cottage cheese (my personal favourite). If you’re feeling fancy, you can make overnight oats. Women do need to get calories into their bodies earlier in the morning as it helps with our metabolism and our hormone regulation. I’ve been making sure I have a few bites of food in the morning for the last couple months, and I truly feel a difference in my energy levels and my mood. I don’t get those caffeine jitters anymore and mornings seem less stressful. Try to prioritize food that includes protein or complex carbohydrates to start the day off strong.

    Minute 5-6: Breathing and Affirmations

    I absolutely love affirmations. They can really help to bring you into the right headspace for your day. Spend this minute breathing deeply and relaxing into your space while saying your affirmations out loud. Saying them out-loud is key, as I find I’m more likely to believe in them when I do that.

    I try and choose 2-3 monthly affirmations that I focus on. Choosing a smaller number helps me remember them throughout the day, not just in the morning. But if that’s not your vibe, you can always decide on a daily affirmation for what you’re currently feeling.

    Minute 6-7: Light Stretching and Posture Focus

    Some gentle neck rolls, shoulder rolls, and seated leg stretches are nice to incorporate in the morning. Ease into them and have them be very light – you’re just waking up, so the goal is to just get any sleep tightness out of your body. Focus on your posture and standing or sitting up straight.

    Minute 7-8: Journal or Verbalize Gratitude

    I love journaling. This is a great opportunity to thought dump or just plan your day. You can choose a journalling prompt, free write, or write down what you’re grateful for. Some moments of quiet reflection are great to help you be present in the moment and to “slow” your mornings.

    Minute 8-10: Choose Joy

    For your last 2 minutes, do something that brings you immense joy. It can be playing music that pumps you up – I’m personally a huge fan of Taylor Swift here. It can be drinking your tea or coffee uninterrupted. It could be sitting outside in the morning and listening to the birds. Choose something that resonates with you and brings that spark to your eyes.

    Some mornings, I enjoy having a little “touchpoint” chat with my husband. We talk about the kids (since little ears can listen and understand now), chores, work, house tasks, things to plan etc… It’s a nice opportunity to check in with each other while we’re able to dedicate our full attention.

    Find Your Slow Morning

    If you follow along with these 10 minutes, at the end, you’ve cared for your body and your mind. You’ve “filled your cup” for the morning and can jump into the day with both feet!

    Feel free to edit the order of the tasks and if it’s a good day, feel free to add give yourself more time! I like to jump into my daily work out straight from this routine, and afterwards, I feel like a million bucks. Hello Supermom!

    Click below to get the checklist version of my 10-minute morning routine that you can put on your fridge or use as your phone screensaver!

    Download Your Free Morning Routine!
  • 15 Healthy On-the-Go Snacks for Busy Moms

    15 Healthy On-the-Go Snacks for Busy Moms

    If your kids are anything like mine, then you know that the key to happy days and seamless transitions between tasks is to have your snack game be A++.

    I like to keep my snack list full of snacks that are minimally messy, don’t need a lot of prep beforehand, and for the most part, don’t need to keep cold. My other rule of thumb for when I’m packing snacks, is to include something with fibre, protein, or a healthy fat. Bonus if it’s all three! That helps keep bellies full for longer.

    Here’s a collection of my favourite on-the-go snacks to fill bags, strollers, and pockets with.

    1. Fruit with Skin or in Punnets

    Starting the list off with my favourite snack to pack: fruit that does not need to be cleaned or cut. Think bananas and oranges. I like how they travel pretty well and hold up in warmer weather. Obviously, the preference is to less ripe bananas (to avoid them turning into mush) and clementines/mandarins since they peel easier.

    I also like to pack blueberries, raspberries, and blackberries in their store punnets. When we’re ready to eat, it’s pretty easy to rinse them with water from a water bottle or to find a potable water tap. Also, kids love berries. My daughter goes bananas (pun intended) for raspberries!

    2. Fruit Snacks or Chews

    This is my next favourite snack to pack because we can choose more real fruit options. I like the “Fruit to Go” snacks by SunRype. They’re really tasty, almost like a treat, and they’re vegan. Some include added veggies, which is a bonus.

    I also like the Bear brand Real Fruit Snack minis. There’s no sugar added, and they come in cute little bear paw prints.

    My kids are also fans of the Bob Snail line-up. They have a variety of fun options, like leather strips, roll ups, and gummy disks. We’ve had the most fun with the Bob Snail “Eat&Play Bobnimals” that include a snail toy inside – like a better Kinder Egg. They work fantastic as rewards, and it makes you want to collect all versions of the snail inside.

    3. Cheese Puff Snacks

    I love popcorn and before kids, I used to make homemade popcorn weekly and buy fun flavoured bags from the grocery store as a treat. With kids, especially young ones, the choking hazard of popcorn is something I don’t want to deal with. I find that buying cheese puffs can scratch the itch of eating popcorn without you hiding in the closet to eat it.

    I’m a big fan of Angie’s Boom Chicka Pop White Cheddar puffs. I like buying a big back of puffs and then using snack baggies or cups to portion out some puffs for on the go.

    4. Pretzels Plus Spreads

    Another fun and easy snack to keep kids occupied are pretzels plus a dip. I like this because you can buy a big bag of pretzels but still keep the snack fresh by cycling through different accompaniments. We pair our pretzels with:

    • Homemade cheese sauce, or a soft cheese spread like laughing cow cheese or cream cheese (can be flavoured)
    • Nut spread (sunflower seed butter, peanut butter, almond butter, cashew butter)
    • Chocolate spread like Nutella, or Kraft Chocolate Peanut butter
    • Jams
    • Hummus (can even sneak in celery or broccoli to go with it)

    5. Energy Balls

    This is snack that you can make at home and with your kids. The recipe is very forgiving for little hands and it’s fun to customize. I love making energy balls with little chocolate chips and maybe a bit of protein powder.

    For a series of energy ball recipes from The Real Food Dieticians that I like: click here!

    6. Homemade Muffins, Cookies, or Loafs

    Nothing beats homemade items. I love baking with my kids because I feel like they’re more likely to eat what they make.

    We just made these strawberry muffins with some fresh Ontario strawberries, and I highly recommend it.

    We also just made banana cream cheese swirl muffins and those been a hug hit for everyone.

    7. Lunchables or Cheese and Crackers

    What kid doesn’t love Lunchables? It’s basically a cute little bento box. If you’re time pressed, there are some really great cheese/cracker options in the store that include healthier options like cranberries or dark chocolate. You can always make your own version with the crackers and cheese of your choice. Then, if you’d like, you can add a sweet treat like a Hershey’s Kiss or fruit gummies.

    8. Packaged Baby Snacks

    Don’t sleep on baby snacks! They are actually fun snacks to add into your snack rotation, especially if you have children of different ages. I really like yogurt melts as a sweet addition, or arrowroot cookies as something else to munch on. Baby stars are also a fun, eating activity if your kids are being pushed in a stroller. The stars can also be added to a toddler friendly “trail mix”, along with other fun finger foods. The bonus is that a lot of baby snack are very portable and easy to store or dispense.

    9. Cheese Snacks

    Cheese is a great option because it contains protein and fat which help satiate appetites. I like Babybel cheeses because they are coated with wax, pre-portioned, can come in spiral options, and sometimes have fun Disney characters on them.

    Cheese strings are another great pre-portioned cheese option.

    These may not last as long on a hot day and they can be a little pricier, but they’re great options.

    Also pairing sliced cheese with an apple or pear is another great way to achieve a healthy fat/protein with a fiber-full fruit.

    10. Nuts and Dried Fruit

    A classic charcuterie board combo which works for kids too! Nuts provide healthy fat and fibre with the dried fruit adding more fibre and nutrients.

    Dried apricots are great because they also provide a small source of iron, which for pickier eaters, can be hard to get.

    Cashews are a great starter nut option because they are a little softer to chew on. Pistachios are also great because they contain a little bit of protein. Be most cautious with smaller hard nuts, like peanuts, which are choking hazards for younger children.

    11. Applesauce

    Applesauce squeeze packs aren’t just for babies. They’re a great on-the-go source of fibre and carbohydrates. Essentially, they’re instant energy for when your kids are hitting an afternoon slump. They’re portable and come in a ton of fun flavour combinations.

    If you’re feeling ambitious, you can also make your own applesauce and portion it into these reusable dishwasher-safe pouches from amazon.

    12. Cereal

    Allegedly, my husband was obsessed with plain Cheerios as a kid. And honestly, it’s such a great snack. For younger kids, Cheerios are a great finger food, and they dissolve easily. And for older kids, the benefit is that they contain added iron and vitamins.

    Cereal is also another option that can be dispensed into smaller snack bags for travelling. There are also a bunch of cereal options in the store, where you can choose a variety of flavours to keep things fun and exciting.

    13. Granola bars

    Another classic snack on the go. Granola bars are great for when you’re in a pinch for snacks and they usually travel well. There are a variety of options at the store to choose from. I do like brand Made Good, which usually includes added fruit and veggies to their granola bars.

    You can also make fantastic granola bars at home. I really like this recipe by The Real Food Dietitians for making my own: Homemade Peanut Butter Granola Bars

    14. Yogurt: Tubes/Cups/Drinks/Parfaits

    I LOVE yogurt. I eat it almost every day. If it’s Greek yogurt, it can be a great source of protein as well as full of good gut probiotics. You can add cinnamon, vanilla, and nut butter to make a fruit dip. Or you can add spices or a ranch salad dressing spice pack to make a healthier veggie dip.

    On the go, I also love packing frozen yogurt tubes since they help keep other food cold and they’re just really tasty. The tube is also a great way to keep small hands less messy – watch the squeezing from the bottom though!

    Yogurt drinks are also another great snack, and some contain a good amount of protein. They’re a great option when you stop at the store for a snack before hitting the library or the beach.

    You can also quickly put together a yogurt parfait in a small glass lock container by layering chopped fruit and granola in the yogurt.

    Do monitor the nutrition labels as a lot of children’s yogurt products have been overly sweetened to make them more attractive to children.

    15. Sandwiches/Wraps

    Ok, this may seem boring to some. But sandwiches are such a great option to pack. Not only can you choose your own ingredients, but you can create the perfect snack: a mix of complex carbs, protein, and fibre.

    Use either homemade bread (who has time for that?), or healthier bread options like wholegrain and sourdough. Then you can go with the classic ham and cheese (maybe sneak some sliced cucumber or sprouts on there) or some fun flavour combos. If you make your own fruit jam (essentially mashed fruit, honey, chia seeds, and lemon juice) with natural peanut butter, you have a tasty, better for you PB&J. Maybe go crazy, and have a cream cheese, honey, and strawberry sandwich!

    The world is your oyster with sandwiches.

    Same thing with wraps! I love making little wrap pinwheels using meat and cream cheese. Changing up the format keeps things fun for young kids!

    Take-Away:

    Having snacks is a must! I hope you found some inspiration from my list.

    For snacks that require some cooling: a cooler bag or insulated bag works just fine. My baby bag has a small section for milk bottles that is insulated, and I use that for snacks that need some cooling. Often, my kids are eating these snacks within a half hour so sometimes, if I’m really pressed, I just put them in a regular bag. But you can find some fun backpack coolers on amazon like this one.

    Share in the comments if you have any fun snack options that you like to pack! I’d love to hear about them!

    Also, please always supervise your children when they are eating. Safe eating practices include having them sitting upright and not talking or laughing while chewing. Knowing what to do in the event of a choking emergency is crucial, so please update your CPR skills regularly.

  • How “Non-Negotiable” Daily Habits Can Change Your Life and Easy Ones You Can Start Today!

    How “Non-Negotiable” Daily Habits Can Change Your Life and Easy Ones You Can Start Today!

    Happy August! Or as I like to say, happy “fall-lite”. I do hate saying that, but it’s hard to ignore the fact that our Ontario weather is starting to cool down, the sun is setting earlier, and I’m sitting here craving a latte. I’m just mentally trying to get into the headspace that summer is coming to a close and the lovely warm weather will be behind us soon.

    Recently, I’ve been reading and hearing a lot about daily “non-negotiables”. Essentially, they’re a daily habit that you simply cannot skip. You can think of them as business meetings with your most important client (aka you) – cancelling them would be in bad taste. They’re a little sprinkle of self-care that should be as important to you as brushing your teeth.

    I absolutely love the idea of incorporating “non-negotiable” habits into your day or week because it allows us moms the permission to prioritize ourselves without feeling guilty. And *say it with me now* you can’t pour from an empty cup!

    Like, do ever you feel guilty for brushing your teeth? Of course not.

    That is what non-negotiables should feel like.

    Here are my current “non-negotiables” that I sneak into my day to help me be my best self. You can easily take inspiration from mine or create your own. They can be as big or small as you want, but they just have to make you a little bit healthier and bring you a little bit closer to living your most aspirational life:

    Health and Fitness Related Non-Negotiables

    1. Drinking Water:

    Ok, starting the list off strong with a very basic survival activity. I try to have my first drink of the day be water. Really, I just aim to have a few healthy gulps before I chug a bunch of caffeine in the morning.

    I recently got a Larq water bottle, and I love it! It filters the water well, and the tracking/reminder to drink features are a fun bonus. Another easy way to drink more water, aside from flavouring it or buying a new water bottle, is to drink a couple of big gulps after every bathroom break. Not super groundbreaking, but it’s something that’s easy to make a habit.

    How is this a non-negotiable? I tell myself I can’t start my day without water, and I prioritize water throughout the day. When I go somewhere, I’m bringing a filled water bottle. Simple. Non-negotiable. Mission accomplished.

    2. Move My Body In Any Capacity:

    This could be aiming to get 10K steps a day (really anything about 7k is a win) or getting a workout in. Basically, for me it is something that is as important as eating a proper meal, taking a shower, or brushing my teeth.

    I prioritize working out/moving for at least 20 minutes a day. This can also be broken up into smaller chunks throughout the day, like a 5 minute stretch in the morning, a 10 minute strength or cardio session, and a 5 minute walk after dinner. It doesn’t matter what it looks like as long as it happens, and I always feel better after it.

    3. Go Outside:

    This one is similar to “move my body in any capacity”. However, there is something so invigorating and healing about walking outside. And bonus points if it’s around trees, grass, and water.

    This makes me feel good, and it helps me to recognize that the world is bigger than some of my little nagging problems during the day. There is so much beauty in the world and often it’s hidden or taken for granted.

    4. Eat a Vegetable or Fruit at Meals (or hide it!)

    I make an effort to eat healthier foods as much as I can, however, if I don’t have a benchmark to go by, it is pretty easy to “forget” to incorporate fruits and vegetables into my diet. Therefore, I aim to add fruits at snacks or as sweeter treats after a meal, and at least one vegetable at mealtimes. I also try to eat the veggie or fruit first before any other food item. In other words, I eat my salad first.

    As a non-negotiable: basically, I don’t get to eat my granola bar until I’m done my apple.

    Non-Fitness Related Non-Negotiables:

    1. Wear My Wedding/Engagement Rings

    I like wearing my wedding and engagement rings because they’re a sweet reminder of my love for my family. When I’m at work and the day is dragging on, those rings remind of what I have waiting for me at home.

    I love wearing jewelry that has sentimental meaning, and this is one easy way I can incorporate gratitude into my day-to-day. When I’m away from home, it’s a non-negotiable to wear my rings.

    2. Write in any capacity

    Writing and journaling have become my outlet and passion. I feel good when I’m creating and when ideas are flowing. It helps me to get out of my head and I just find it fun.

    However, writing, like a lot of things, requires practice to get better. I’m always looking to improve my writing skills and really refine my writing voice. So, for me, this is another non-negotiable.

    Sometimes, I promise myself I’ll write for just 1 minute or even just write one sentence. More often than not, this turns into something longer or more in depth. But here, I consider anything a win.

    3. Weekly day for myself

    This is something new I’ve started doing. As a working mom of two very small children, it’s really hard to carve time out of the week for yourself. Not only does there not seem to be enough time in the day, but mom guilt is also something that I struggle with. I do truly want to be with my kids all the time, but sometimes the little cuties drive me bananas.

    Having a weekly “date” with myself, to just do whatever I want has been so nice. It’s something that I look forward to and it helps me get through tough days at work and wild bedtime routines.

    I’ve recently started playing golf and it’s been so fun to do something new that I’ve never done before. It’s also a pretty social game, and I have friends that I go to the driving range with regularly. I highly recommend trying something new where you’re a beginner – it gives you something to focus on and the new challenge of it can be so fun.

    4. Daily Affirmation

    It feels super kooky to say things like “I move through life with quiet confidence” out loud to yourself. But it works, and it helps you zero in on whatever goal(s) you may have.

    Saying affirmations to myself daily has really helped me frame who I want to be at work and at home. I am a quieter person, and affirmations that tell me I am a person with something valuable to say does wonders when I’m about to socialize with other people.

    I’ve been using ChatGPT to suggest and refine affirmations for whatever I’m feeling. If you’re looking for a prompt to start with, you can always just ask ChatGPT for “cool girl affirmations” and go from there.

    Take-Away

    So, what can you do today? Well, I’d suggest choosing one that I’ve listed and making it your goal for today. Start with adding just one and going from there – you want this to be fun, and not another to-do list.

    Your own non-negotiables should be things that make you feel good, make you a better person/colleague/mom, and that are actually good for you!

    What do you do if you miss your non-negotiables for the day? Well, please don’t panic and stress. Tomorrow is another opportunity to incorporate them.

    Let me know what non-negotiables you’re going to try to out. Are there any great ones you’d recommend? Let me know in the comments!

  • Easy Strategies to Improve “Mom Brain”

    Easy Strategies to Improve “Mom Brain”

    My New Year’s Resolution this year was to learn names. I know – it’s very basic and a bit embarrassing. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized how awful my excuse of “I’m just terrible with faces” is – it makes me sound lazy and flippant. And c’mon, everyone likes to be remembered. The moment someone I’ve met only briefly remembers my name or one of my kid’s names, I’m instantly impressed, and I like them even more.

    However, I’m in the thick of parenting with two small kids under 3, and I find my brain just isn’t firing quite like it used to. The lack of sleep, lack of R&R, constant housework, and returning to work have led to the perfect storm of “mom brain”.

    Mom Brain: the forgetfulness and brain fog that occurs after having a child

    So, if you’re like me and find that some thoughts just *poof* disappear from your head if you’re not careful, then here are a couple tips that you can start using to improve your memory and combat “mom brain”.

    Tip #1: Write things down

    This is the biggest and best thing you can do to help you remember something. The list could probably stop here if I wanted it to.

    Basically, if there is something important you need to remember, you should write it down. At work, I’ve started volunteering to take meeting notes, just because it forces me to a) pay attention and b) have a copy of what happened that I’ve transcribed. This makes me more aware of what happened in the meeting mostly because I either remember it being said or I remember physically writing (or typing) it.

    For my day-to-day, I have a few notes saved to my phone that hit on important things in my life. Like my to-do list, grocery list, meal list, book list, ideas list etc… If I don’t write down a thought I have, it’s gone. Similarly, once you book an appointment, put that directly into your calendar. Don’t wait to do it later, put it directly into your phone’s calendar ASAP.

    Tip #2: Try to Prioritize Sleep

    I’m sorry to include this in my list – but you do need sleep. You’ll be fighting a losing battle without it. Now, I’m not trying to tell you to go to bed at 8:00pm, because for some families with littles, that’s unfortunately not realistic. What I am trying to say is: evaluate how you feel. If you’re a little spacey, on edge, or just not feeling yourself, maybe go to bed instead of watching another episode of Netflix.

    Tip #3: Use Mnemonics

    Whenever I think of mnemonics, I’m immediately transported back to grade school history and trying to memorize dates with my mom before a test. I find mnemonics to be boring, but they do work.

    Essentially, they’re a personalized memory hack – it can be special patterns, rhymes, songs, or stories to help you create an association in your mind for whatever it is you want to remember.

    For example, there is an emotional support dog in my office building. He’s absolutely adorable and I want to remember this cutie-patootie’s name. His name is “Jack”. He’s unfortunately missing one of his eyes. Pirates wear an eye-patch to cover one of their eyes. Captain Jack Sparrow is a famous pirate. Ergo, I think of Captain Jack when I see him and remember that “Jack” is this pup’s name.

    I’ve also heard of people repeating names back when they are introduced to someone new. Like: “Hi, my name’s Jessica.” “Oh hi! Jessica, was it?”.

    Sometimes, just a little song or repetition can do wonders to help you remember.

    Tip #4: Eat Well

    Your body wants whole, nutritious food and your brain runs best when it’s fueled properly. So, try your best to nourish your body with good, healthy, nutrient dense foods.

    I feel like we all know by now that excessive sugar and caffeine can wreak havoc on our body systems and our moods. Do yourself a favour and try your best to eat well.

    I follow the 80/20 rule when eating. Basically, I aim to eat as much whole, nutritious foods as possible but I’ll throw in a few treats here and there. I have a sweet tooth, so I’ll generally throw in something on the sweeter side during the day. If you find the majority of your food choices are fruits, veggies, protein sources, and complex carbohydrates – you’re good. If not, there is always room for improvement.

    Tip #5: Pay Attention When Your Routine Changes

    Our brain simplifies our life by often running on autopilot throughout the day. This is why you might not remember locking your door before you left the house even though you definitely did.

    But this all gets shaken up with changes to our routines. This is how clothes, school bags, coffee cups, work bags, lunches etc… can get forgotten when we’re rushing somewhere new. Our brains haven’t had time to process the new stimuli into habits.

    Therefore, with any changes to your routine, make sure you’re taking a quick, slightly more in-depth assessment of everything you need and have to do. Also, maybe write them down.

    Tip #6: Live in the Moment and Use Your 5 Senses

    Running on autopilot can be great to accomplish everyday tasks (i.e. see tip #5 above), but it’s not great for your memory. When you start to make an effort to “live in the moment” you’ll pay more attention to the things that are happening around you.

    Take a few minutes every so often in your day to pay attention to your surroundings. The easiest way to accomplish this is to use your senses and narrate it in your head with 1-2 sentences each:

    • What do you see?
    • What do you smell?
    • What do you taste?
    • What do you feel/what are you touching?
    • What do you hear?

    Bonus: this can also work to ground you if you’re feeling anxious.

    Tip #7: Review Your Notes and Calendars

    You know those notes I talking about you writing in the first tip – you should probably review them on a somewhat regular basis. Not only does this keep them at the forefront of your mind, but it also helps you avoid making a duplicate note.

    Also, review your family calendars at least on a week-to-week basis. You want to avoid having events pop-up when you’re expecting a free weekend, or having double booked your kids to two parties on the same day at the same time (guilty!).

    Just take a few minutes before you fall asleep on Sunday to check out the amazing week ahead of you.

    Tip #8: Know Your Capacity and Limitations

    You know yourself best, and at the end of the day, you know if you’re pushing yourself past your limits. If you’re in the thick of “mom-ing” and your kids are small, give yourself a little break and know that sometimes things will slip through the cracks. And really, “mom-brain” can be the perfect, funny excuse. Did you forget to put on mascara this morning? Or is your shirt on backwards? Well, that’s mom brain. It can be hilarious and quirky and innocently goofy.

  • How to Ace the Small Talk so People Think You’re Cool

    How to Ace the Small Talk so People Think You’re Cool

    A lot of people hate small talk. Its repetitive, awkward, and those moments of silence can be terrifying. And as a mom of two littles, I’m realizing that in order to make any kind of “mom friends” I need to start chatting people up at the park.

    First off – you’re already cool. Don’t let anyone else try to tell you otherwise, especially yourself. You have a whole wealth of knowledge and experience that other people don’t have and that’s valuable.

    Anyone who makes it seem like they don’t want to talk to you, clearly doesn’t know you enough. A huge part of tricking people into thinking you’re cool is really just projecting confidence and kindness. As someone who would describe themselves as introverted and shy, talking to other people can sometimes feel like a huge, overwhelming task that you’re bound to fail. But with a little preparation, practice and a few strategies, you can become a small talk expert!

    So, here are a few things you can do to trick other people into thinking you’re fun to talk to and someone they’d like to be friends with!

    Loosen Up Your Body

    If you have the time, I highly recommend doing a workout or some mobility stretching. I like doing this because it can get some jittery energy out if you’re nervous and it also makes you more aware of where your body is in space. Sometimes I find I start to hunch into myself when I’m nervous (like a subconscious desire to become smaller), but moving my body in a controlled way can get some tightness out and literally “loosen up”.

    Bonus points if you’re able to get your heart rate up a little bit since it will give you some fun exercise endorphins that will boost your mood and approachability.

    At the very least, wiggle out your arms, roll your neck, set your shoulders back, and stand tall. Body language is something that as humans we’re evolved to detect, so try and release any tension you have before you meet with others.

    Photo by Luemen Rutkowski on Unsplash

    Dress Your Best

    Plain and simple, if you dress your best, you feel your best. You don’t have to drop buckets of money on a new outfit for every event but choose your outfits carefully. Dress for the occasion (it’s generally better to be over-dressed than under) and dress for comfort. The worst thing is to constantly be adjusting some part of your clothing because it’s itchy or it’s falling down. Or to be constantly thinking of these things when you’re supposed to be paying attention to your new friend that you met from HR who knows where the best coffee in the city is. If you’re a stay-at-home mom, or a working mom out for a park walk with your kids on the weekend, try and wear something that doesn’t make you feel like a slob. Obviously, play to your season of life and if you’re barely surviving with your littles, just focus on yourself and your kids, not your outfit.

    Listen And Ask Questions

    Everyone likes conversations that flow and transition smoothly from topic to topic. The best way to achieve this is to listen and ask questions. I know. Groundbreaking!

    Basically, what I’m implying is that you need to really listen – be active in what you’re hearing. Oh, your coworker has a daughter who just got accepted into university? Neat, what’s their major? Or why did they choose that? What does your coworker think? Can you tie in any stories about choosing your own major? Or any thoughts you’ve heard about that major (keep them positive!)?

    Get to the core of the person’s story. Obviously don’t end up drilling them but make the conversation a give and take. Don’t be a passive listener (aka listen without contributing) and don’t be the only talker.

    Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

    Prep Beforehand

    This is something I like to do before a big event when I know I’m going to be doing a lot of small talk. Think Christmas parties, conferences, and children’s birthday parties.

    I like to think of a few talking points to bring up in case the conversation starts to lag or if I just want to get to know the person I’m chatting with a little better.

    For example, I might bring up a popular TV show that I’m watching. Maybe the person is also watching it, and we can chat about their thoughts, or maybe they’ve never heard about it in which case I can tell them about it for a few minutes. I might even rope someone who’s also seen it to help me describe it (a more the merrier conversation!).

    Just make a quick short list in your head of fun things you (and others) like to talk about, are topical, and don’t exclude other people. This means keep them fun, open-ended, and not complicated. Talk about the new exhibit at the museum, not a super complicated coding program. But you can obviously tailor it to your audience – if you’re at a coding conference or talking to IT, then bring up your experience with R and Python. Similarly, try to avoid talking about kids with childless coworkers, unless they bring it up (or they have fur babies). Play to the interests of your group.

    So, prep a few talking points – but be flexible! Let the conversations progress naturally and just use them when you feel a lag.

    Assume Positive Intent

    This is something that I don’t think is done enough. Sometimes it can feel like the world is out to get you and everyone is making fun of you behind your back. But, more often than not this isn’t happening, and a lot of people are genuine. The assumption of positive intent is something one of my mentors told me about when I was working for a rehabilitation counsellor. She spoke about it in the context of cognitive behavioural therapy – a form of psychotherapy where the goal is to reframe your thoughts/attitudes/beliefs to inform healthier emotions and actions. Essentially, you work on the assumption that everyone you meet comes to you not wanting to cause you harm or discomfort and that they truly want to be your friend. For example, if someone interrupts you when you’re talking, try to have your first thought be “oh, they want to contribute to this super cool conversation I’m having” rather than “oh, they don’t like me and they think what I say doesn’t matter”.

    I also think this is something that moms tend to struggle with. I hear a lot of moms saying that they fear being judged by other moms or families for the way they parent. If you come into the conversation believing that the other parents are on your side, you’re more likely to come away feeling positive and grateful to have made the social connection. And if every mom is afraid of being judged, then we (all moms) really need to step it up and show them (other moms) more support or at the very least have a neutral reaction in the conversation.

    Assuming that everyone is coming from a position of kindness and positivity can help you reframe many conversations that you have. And it can genuinely help you have a healthier approach to life.

    Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

    Body Language

    Humans have evolved to be very social creatures, and we subconsciously process a lot of external cues to make sure that we fit into our social groups. This means that body language is very important when we talk with others and our thoughts can inform our postures. If you’re scared, you will tend to close yourself off: wrapping your arms around your body, leaning away, not making eye contact. Similarly, if you’re not interested in someone your body will take on an avoidance posture: you’ll face away from them, avoid eye contact, or show annoyance on your face. These are all postures you obviously want to steer clear of when you’re trying to get to know someone.

    So, focus on the presence you wish to project. If its confidence and approachability: stand proud, shoulders back, arms loose and at your side, and a neutral or positive expression on your face. You can also mirror the posture of whoever you’re talking to. Are they leaning in? Maybe you lean in too. Are they telling a wild story and their brows are raised? Maybe you raise your brows.

    Show that you’re listening and engaged with someone – offer a genuine smile (smile with your eyes), nod along, and make eye contact. If you struggle with having awkward hands, find something to do with them that isn’t weird. Hold a drink or hold a plate. if you’re desperate, play with some jewelry, but just try to avoid the crossed arms.

    Compliments

    Everyone loves to be told how great they are. And I whenever I’ve been complimented, it’s been such a mood and confidence booster. However, the real trick to making an impact with compliments is to make sure they’re real and you mean them. For instance, don’t compliment someone’s outfit if 1) it’s not that nice, and/or 2) you actually don’t like it. People can sense when a compliment seems off and it will seem like you’re poking fun instead.

    Obviously, don’t overdo it and don’t bend over backwards spewing compliments to anyone who will listen. Make your compliments thoughtful, true, and few.

    Deep Breaths

    I’ve mentioned how anxiety can sometimes get the best of me in social situations and really the best thing to stop it from getting worse is to control your breathing. Every so often do a quick check – are you belly breathing (ideal) or are you using your chest to pull in breaths (not ideal). Check out some YouTube videos if you’re not super clear on how to belly breathe.

    If you do find yourself getting a little anxious or nervous when chatting with others, take a few minutes (you can do this when you go to the bathroom) to consciously slow your breathing down. The more you practice this before any social event, the easier it will be when you are in a social situation.

    Be the Person You Want to Talk to

    Ok, this doesn’t mean that I want you to become the most interesting/smartest/best dressed/richest person in the room. This means that if someone is looking around a room of scary strangers, they’re going to want to talk to the most approachable and welcoming person there first. Become that person. Smile at people, meet their eyes, exude confidence and respect.

    Really dig deep into what qualities you like in people who you find easy to talk to. Maybe it’s not just that they’re funny, but that they really nod along with what you’re saying and make you feel special.

    Basically, just focus on being a nice person with a welcoming face.

    Photo by Malen Almonacid Trossi on Unsplash

    What is “Cool”?

    At the end of the day, being “cool” is subjective. If you like spiderman, you immediately become cool to my son. If you have a bunch of kids and somehow look put-together, I have an instant girl crush on you.

    The most important take-aways are really to be confident in who you are and know that you bring value to any conversation. At the same time, try to bring that out in the people you talk to – boost their confidence and really listen to them so that they can feel that what they are saying is worthwhile. That’s being cool.

    Let me know if you have any other tricks and tips that you use to help make small talk a little easier and a little less awkward!