Healthy Mom Life

Author: Sarah

  • How to Ace the Small Talk so People Think You’re Cool

    How to Ace the Small Talk so People Think You’re Cool

    A lot of people hate small talk. Its repetitive, awkward, and those moments of silence can be terrifying. And as a mom of two littles, I’m realizing that in order to make any kind of “mom friends” I need to start chatting people up at the park.

    First off – you’re already cool. Don’t let anyone else try to tell you otherwise, especially yourself. You have a whole wealth of knowledge and experience that other people don’t have and that’s valuable.

    Anyone who makes it seem like they don’t want to talk to you, clearly doesn’t know you enough. A huge part of tricking people into thinking you’re cool is really just projecting confidence and kindness. As someone who would describe themselves as introverted and shy, talking to other people can sometimes feel like a huge, overwhelming task that you’re bound to fail. But with a little preparation, practice and a few strategies, you can become a small talk expert!

    So, here are a few things you can do to trick other people into thinking you’re fun to talk to and someone they’d like to be friends with!

    Loosen Up Your Body

    If you have the time, I highly recommend doing a workout or some mobility stretching. I like doing this because it can get some jittery energy out if you’re nervous and it also makes you more aware of where your body is in space. Sometimes I find I start to hunch into myself when I’m nervous (like a subconscious desire to become smaller), but moving my body in a controlled way can get some tightness out and literally “loosen up”.

    Bonus points if you’re able to get your heart rate up a little bit since it will give you some fun exercise endorphins that will boost your mood and approachability.

    At the very least, wiggle out your arms, roll your neck, set your shoulders back, and stand tall. Body language is something that as humans we’re evolved to detect, so try and release any tension you have before you meet with others.

    Photo by Luemen Rutkowski on Unsplash

    Dress Your Best

    Plain and simple, if you dress your best, you feel your best. You don’t have to drop buckets of money on a new outfit for every event but choose your outfits carefully. Dress for the occasion (it’s generally better to be over-dressed than under) and dress for comfort. The worst thing is to constantly be adjusting some part of your clothing because it’s itchy or it’s falling down. Or to be constantly thinking of these things when you’re supposed to be paying attention to your new friend that you met from HR who knows where the best coffee in the city is. If you’re a stay-at-home mom, or a working mom out for a park walk with your kids on the weekend, try and wear something that doesn’t make you feel like a slob. Obviously, play to your season of life and if you’re barely surviving with your littles, just focus on yourself and your kids, not your outfit.

    Listen And Ask Questions

    Everyone likes conversations that flow and transition smoothly from topic to topic. The best way to achieve this is to listen and ask questions. I know. Groundbreaking!

    Basically, what I’m implying is that you need to really listen – be active in what you’re hearing. Oh, your coworker has a daughter who just got accepted into university? Neat, what’s their major? Or why did they choose that? What does your coworker think? Can you tie in any stories about choosing your own major? Or any thoughts you’ve heard about that major (keep them positive!)?

    Get to the core of the person’s story. Obviously don’t end up drilling them but make the conversation a give and take. Don’t be a passive listener (aka listen without contributing) and don’t be the only talker.

    Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

    Prep Beforehand

    This is something I like to do before a big event when I know I’m going to be doing a lot of small talk. Think Christmas parties, conferences, and children’s birthday parties.

    I like to think of a few talking points to bring up in case the conversation starts to lag or if I just want to get to know the person I’m chatting with a little better.

    For example, I might bring up a popular TV show that I’m watching. Maybe the person is also watching it, and we can chat about their thoughts, or maybe they’ve never heard about it in which case I can tell them about it for a few minutes. I might even rope someone who’s also seen it to help me describe it (a more the merrier conversation!).

    Just make a quick short list in your head of fun things you (and others) like to talk about, are topical, and don’t exclude other people. This means keep them fun, open-ended, and not complicated. Talk about the new exhibit at the museum, not a super complicated coding program. But you can obviously tailor it to your audience – if you’re at a coding conference or talking to IT, then bring up your experience with R and Python. Similarly, try to avoid talking about kids with childless coworkers, unless they bring it up (or they have fur babies). Play to the interests of your group.

    So, prep a few talking points – but be flexible! Let the conversations progress naturally and just use them when you feel a lag.

    Assume Positive Intent

    This is something that I don’t think is done enough. Sometimes it can feel like the world is out to get you and everyone is making fun of you behind your back. But, more often than not this isn’t happening, and a lot of people are genuine. The assumption of positive intent is something one of my mentors told me about when I was working for a rehabilitation counsellor. She spoke about it in the context of cognitive behavioural therapy – a form of psychotherapy where the goal is to reframe your thoughts/attitudes/beliefs to inform healthier emotions and actions. Essentially, you work on the assumption that everyone you meet comes to you not wanting to cause you harm or discomfort and that they truly want to be your friend. For example, if someone interrupts you when you’re talking, try to have your first thought be “oh, they want to contribute to this super cool conversation I’m having” rather than “oh, they don’t like me and they think what I say doesn’t matter”.

    I also think this is something that moms tend to struggle with. I hear a lot of moms saying that they fear being judged by other moms or families for the way they parent. If you come into the conversation believing that the other parents are on your side, you’re more likely to come away feeling positive and grateful to have made the social connection. And if every mom is afraid of being judged, then we (all moms) really need to step it up and show them (other moms) more support or at the very least have a neutral reaction in the conversation.

    Assuming that everyone is coming from a position of kindness and positivity can help you reframe many conversations that you have. And it can genuinely help you have a healthier approach to life.

    Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

    Body Language

    Humans have evolved to be very social creatures, and we subconsciously process a lot of external cues to make sure that we fit into our social groups. This means that body language is very important when we talk with others and our thoughts can inform our postures. If you’re scared, you will tend to close yourself off: wrapping your arms around your body, leaning away, not making eye contact. Similarly, if you’re not interested in someone your body will take on an avoidance posture: you’ll face away from them, avoid eye contact, or show annoyance on your face. These are all postures you obviously want to steer clear of when you’re trying to get to know someone.

    So, focus on the presence you wish to project. If its confidence and approachability: stand proud, shoulders back, arms loose and at your side, and a neutral or positive expression on your face. You can also mirror the posture of whoever you’re talking to. Are they leaning in? Maybe you lean in too. Are they telling a wild story and their brows are raised? Maybe you raise your brows.

    Show that you’re listening and engaged with someone – offer a genuine smile (smile with your eyes), nod along, and make eye contact. If you struggle with having awkward hands, find something to do with them that isn’t weird. Hold a drink or hold a plate. if you’re desperate, play with some jewelry, but just try to avoid the crossed arms.

    Compliments

    Everyone loves to be told how great they are. And I whenever I’ve been complimented, it’s been such a mood and confidence booster. However, the real trick to making an impact with compliments is to make sure they’re real and you mean them. For instance, don’t compliment someone’s outfit if 1) it’s not that nice, and/or 2) you actually don’t like it. People can sense when a compliment seems off and it will seem like you’re poking fun instead.

    Obviously, don’t overdo it and don’t bend over backwards spewing compliments to anyone who will listen. Make your compliments thoughtful, true, and few.

    Deep Breaths

    I’ve mentioned how anxiety can sometimes get the best of me in social situations and really the best thing to stop it from getting worse is to control your breathing. Every so often do a quick check – are you belly breathing (ideal) or are you using your chest to pull in breaths (not ideal). Check out some YouTube videos if you’re not super clear on how to belly breathe.

    If you do find yourself getting a little anxious or nervous when chatting with others, take a few minutes (you can do this when you go to the bathroom) to consciously slow your breathing down. The more you practice this before any social event, the easier it will be when you are in a social situation.

    Be the Person You Want to Talk to

    Ok, this doesn’t mean that I want you to become the most interesting/smartest/best dressed/richest person in the room. This means that if someone is looking around a room of scary strangers, they’re going to want to talk to the most approachable and welcoming person there first. Become that person. Smile at people, meet their eyes, exude confidence and respect.

    Really dig deep into what qualities you like in people who you find easy to talk to. Maybe it’s not just that they’re funny, but that they really nod along with what you’re saying and make you feel special.

    Basically, just focus on being a nice person with a welcoming face.

    Photo by Malen Almonacid Trossi on Unsplash

    What is “Cool”?

    At the end of the day, being “cool” is subjective. If you like spiderman, you immediately become cool to my son. If you have a bunch of kids and somehow look put-together, I have an instant girl crush on you.

    The most important take-aways are really to be confident in who you are and know that you bring value to any conversation. At the same time, try to bring that out in the people you talk to – boost their confidence and really listen to them so that they can feel that what they are saying is worthwhile. That’s being cool.

    Let me know if you have any other tricks and tips that you use to help make small talk a little easier and a little less awkward!

  • 10 Thoughtful Last-Minute Gifts to Buy for Mother’s Day 2025

    10 Thoughtful Last-Minute Gifts to Buy for Mother’s Day 2025

    With Mother’s Day a little over a month away, I’ve put together a list of gifts you can get to show your appreciation for the mothers in your life. Sometimes special days can creep up on us in our calendars, so this list has some items that should be pretty easy to source quickly. And honestly, they’re all gifts I would love to get – so its basically my wish list!

    I view Mother’s Day as an opportunity to get the mother’s in your life something they wouldn’t normally buy for themselves – aka something luxurious or something fun. Moms are so accustomed to putting everyone else’s needs before their own, so it really goes a long way when you do your best to get them something thoughtful and a bit personalized.

    Jewelry

    Jewelry will always be a winning choice. But, what makes this gift really special is having there be a personal significance to it. I have a necklace that has the two initials of my kids and a pair of earrings with the birthstone of my son – both of these pieces are as important to me as my wedding ring. If the mother in your life doesn’t have commemorative jewelry, this is a perfect opportunity to get them something.

    Etsy is fantastic for this! There are a variety of affordable birthstone, birth flower and name jewelry. Just make sure to check where the seller is located and the delivery time. I prefer to select Etsy sellers from Canada if possible – this also shortens the delivery time for me.

    But if you’re willing to spend more and you have more time for delivery my necklace is from Right Hand Gal and my earring are from Mejuri.

    I do also like the name necklaces from Oak and Luna. And, recently, I’ve been liking morse code jewelry as a more subtle nod to my little progeny. You can customize your morse code jewelry with initials or phrases (like Super Mom).

    Pajamas or Lounge Pants

    I don’t know any mom who doesn’t love a good lounge set. The important thing here is making sure the set is not only comfortable, but also stylish. I’ve been eyeing some items from the Londre Bodywear Cool-Comf Collection. I like that their products are sustainably made and that they’re a Canadian Company.

    And Skims and Aritzia have some nice loungewear and sweat suits as well. If you’re into dupes, Amazon is always another spot to look, just monitor reviews.

    Bedsheets/Bed Sets

    Ok, hear me out! Fancy sheets and a new duvet cover can really elevate a bedroom. For the mom who seems to only have quiet time when she’s sleeping, this might just be the best gift to get her. Bonus points if you’re the one to wrestle her duvet cover on.

    I like the inviting look of this duvet cover from Crate and Barrel and this sheet set from West Elm.

    Cosmetics and Spa Care

    This one might need a bit of snooping or asking the mother’s friends for help. I can guarantee that the mother in your life has some expensive cosmetics that they only treat themselves to on their birthday or during a sale. Whether that’s a fancy face serum or a signature scent perfume, there is big-budget product she loves.

    Salt & Stone is a certified clean brand at Sephora that has some lovely body scents and deodorants (all gender-neutral). I also like Caudalie (another clean beauty brand), and their Detox Mask would be my pick to give moms a little “me time”.

    Gifting moms a giftcard to their local spa is also always an option. Very few moms will say no to a massage or a facial. However, just make sure that you put in the effort to have them be able to go – i.e. if there are young kids, make sure arrangements are made for their care while mom’s away.

    Photo by John Tekeridis: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-doing-facial-mask-3212179/

    Family Photo Sessions

    A family photo session is such a fun gift to give to a mother. It’s also a gift that doesn’t have to be scheduled for Mother’s Day, making it a perfect last minute option. Obviously, make sure you’re booking a time that works for everyone who should be in the photos.

    Some photographers do hold mini sessions especially around special holidays like mother’s day. So, you might get lucky if you hunt around for any photographers who have extra time slots on mother’s day.

    If you’re travelling in the future, Flytographer is an option you can use. It’s a service that pairs you with a photographer local to whatever international destination you’re visiting.

    Just a quick note: prepaid photography sessions will only cover a certain number of photos for you to digitally download, with any extras that you want costing extra. Additionally, you’ll need to then print the photos and buy frames. Make sure to anticipate these costs when gifting a photo session.

    Creative Gifts

    I love creative gifts and I think they’re highly underrated. They can be opportunities for mom’s to explore new hobbies and have something tangible that they create. Etsy is again, a fantastic resource for this, and there are a lot of options for crafting like: dye kits, stamp kits, water colour paint kits, cheese making kits, and crochet and yarn kits. There are also companies like Wool and the Gang that sell yarn and crochet kits with modern, fun patterns in beginner to expert.

    You might also want to try looking to see if there are any creative classes offered in your area. Classes like pottery, candle-making, DIY wine making, flower arranging, paddle-boarding classes, yoga, paint & sips, etc… Try to even think outside the box a little bit – I’ve been wanting to try a horseback riding class for forever, so to me, that would be an incredible gift! These classes not only are fun, but they give moms time to themselves and an opportunity to connect with others. Better yet, if you’re buying for your own mother, gift the class to yourself as well. Your mom will love having the opportunity to spend quality time with you learning something new.

    DIY Brunch

    Ok, maybe you’re short on time and all the brunch places near you have no more reservations left. No worries – just bring the brunch to your mom!

    I love homemade brunches, not only do you get to curate the menu, but you can spend as much time at the “restaurant” as you want. Your mom is always looking after you, so why don’t you look after her for a little bit. Make your mom’s favourite foods, and maybe have some mimosas handy. The trick to making brunch easier on yourself is to choose one breakfast dish to be your show stopper that you make from scratch, I like these cinnamon rolls from Ambitious Kitchen. Then, you can also make a quiche (or buy one), or just have scrambled eggs and bacon. You can also order in brunch (like bagels and lox).

    Buy some flowers for the table, or set it up outside if the weather co-operates! Then, when it’s all done, please please please, clean up and do the dishes.

    Special Subscriptions

    Subscription services definitely fall into the luxurious category for me. These are things that I would love to have, but really don’t need or would buy for myself. There are a ton of fun subscription options available that cater to every possible interest your mom might have.

    A book subscription service like FairyLoot, Illumicrate, and Owlcrate are great for the fantasy loving-moms. For other book genres there are LitLoveBox and Book Box Canada. You can choose how often to receive these boxes and whether you want to get the books only or books plus merchandise related to the stories.

    Wine or coffee subscription services are always a winner and clothing subscriptions (like Nuuly) can be fun for the moms who might be looking to wear something other than leggings.

    Matching Clothing

    There’s something adorable about twinning with my kids. Anytime we wear the same colours, my son is so proud to point out that we’re matching. Etsy offers some cute mommy and me clothes and so does The Children’s Place. And you can also get matching swimwear from Little Mia Bella.

    Classic Gifts are Classic for a Reason

    If you’re short on time for a mother’s day gift, just go with something classic like flowers. Mother’s day is in the Spring and the blooms are so beautiful and colourful. Nothing beats a bouquet of tulips, hyacinth, and daffodils. Take it up a notch by watching a Youtube flower arranging tutorial and bring them already prepared in a vase. For the mom with a green thumb, you can also buy these flowers potted for them to be planted in a garden later. These blooms are perennial, meaning that with proper care, they’ll come back every year.

    Photo by Alex P: https://www.pexels.com/photo/bouquet-of-gentle-bright-blooming-tulips-7080078/

    Time with Family (or Time Away)

    Sometimes, all a mom wants is some literal time. Whether that’s time away from their young kids (think spa day or just leaving the house for a few hours), or some quality family time with everyone. You can always ask what the mom is thinking of doing for mother’s day and go from there.

    In my experience, mom’s with littles usually want to be a little more hands off on Mother’s day – perhaps you change all the baby’s diapers, or you play with the kids so mom can drink her coffee warm. But, they still want to be with their kids and with their families. So basically a “mom-lite” kinda day. Just be responsive to the mom in your life and maybe take over some big chores for the day (laundry, dinner, cleanup etc…).

    Celebrate The Mother in Your Life

    At the end of the day, moms want to be appreciated and acknowledged for all that they do. As long as you’re putting some effort into thinking about what to get them, you’re doing fantastic. Therefore, it really doesn’t matter what you get your mom/wife/partner/friend, as long as you’re there to thank them for all that they do for their families.

  • How to Read More Books as a Busy Mom – 10 Easy Tips

    How to Read More Books as a Busy Mom – 10 Easy Tips

    If you’re the mom who set their Goodreads goal as 50 plus books this year, this article is for you! Or if you’re the mom who has no idea what Goodreads is, this is also for you!

    Children are busy creatures. They’re moving constantly, they’re messy, and they need attention. This is opposite of what we need when we cozy up with a good book. And a large majority of the moms I’ve talked to have said they’ve read fewer books than they ever have with kids. Some can’t even remember the last time they’ve read. This is so sad because there are so many great reasons why reading a book is so good for you, especially as a parent:

    • It’s a healthy escape.
    • It can calm your mind and reduce stress. And reading before bed can help you sleep better.
    • It is leagues better than scrolling socials.
    • It expands your horizons and you might learn something.
    • It gives you something to talk about.
    • It improves your vocabulary and language use.
    • It makes you more creative.
    • It can help fight depression*.
    • It is a great behavior to model to your children.

    As a busy mom of two littles, I’ve been able to consistently read 30-40 books per year for the last 2 years. And as of this posting, I’ve read 12. Reading is something I prioritize, but it can be something easy to incorporate into your life if you’re open to it! Here are some tips to help you add some reading minutes to your day even if you’re working 9-5 with a household of little muskrats to take care of.

    1. Get a Library Card

    First and foremost, if you want to start reading more books, you need to go to your local public library and get a library card. Libraries usually have a bunch of community programs, so even if you’re not sold on books, you should probably still be going to the library for other events and services. A library card will give you access to not only the library’s physical collection of books, but their online content. And the best part? It’s all FREE. In Canada (and the USA), the Libby app connects you to this. It includes e-books, audiobooks, movies, and magazines. Libby can be downloaded to your phone or to a Kobo e-reader (unfortunately in Canada, the Kindle e-reader is not compatible with Libby). Once you have a library card/Libby App, it’s off to the races – start browsing and placing holds on the e-books/audiobooks you want to read!

    Photo by Pixabay: https://www.pexels.com/photo/full-length-of-man-sitting-on-floor-256431/

    2. Get a Book App on Your Phone

    This is the next big thing to do in order to read more, and the reason why I’m able to read as much as I do. You need to have books available to you at all times. You could buy an e-reader, but in my opinion they can just be another thing to carry around or forget. The best way to read more is by opening up your book at any given time. Going to the bathroom? Read a few pages. Waiting in line? Read a few pages. Nursing your baby? Read a few pages. I call these “Book Snacks” – these little minutes you accumulate reading will start to add up.

    Then, get into the habit of having your book be the last thing on your phone when you lock it so when you go to use it again, the book is the first thing you open your phone to . For me, this really helps me replace the social media doom scroll with reading a book. When I have the urge to check Instagram and open my phone, my book is there to fill the boredom instead.

    A note on e-readers: a lot of people prefer e-readers over reading on their phone. Understandable since e-readers have been developed to elevate the reading experience and the font is larger. This can be especially true for those who spend their work day staring a computer screen. I really love e-readers, but I don’t always carry mine with me. So, just for the purpose of reading more, I don’t think they’re absolutely crucial. But, you can download the Kindle or Kobo book apps without having one of those e-readers. While you’ll have to purchase your books, the e-books will be cheaper than a physical copy and they will be ready for you to read immediately.

    Photo by SHVETS production: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-using-a-smartphone-7516237/

    3. Make Audiobooks Your Friend

    Audiobooks are a great tool to use as a busy mom – I love a good multitask. I especially love listening to an audiobook while I do the dishes, fold laundry, drive, grocery shop, or walk the dog. It makes the chores feel less like a grind and more like something to do with your hands while your mind is in another world. I especially use audiobooks for books that I just can’t seem to get into. These are books where I’ve read the same page 5 times and am getting nowhere despite its golden recommendation from my friend. I also use them for genres of books that I’m not used to (like historical fiction). They can also be great to have for autobiographies or self-help books (where the author usually reads it) or for some fantasy novels where the audio has the flexibility to be more cinematic.

    I usually listen to my audiobooks at 1.3-2.0 times the speed of the original audio – to me, it just sounds better and more like “normal” speaking. But, play around with the speed, and don’t be afraid of changing it throughout the book.

    Photo by Stas Knop: https://www.pexels.com/photo/black-corded-headphones-with-colorful-books-in-between-5939401/

    4. Follow Book People on Socials

    I’ve started following a lot of book recommenders and book accounts on Instagram and I’ve found this so helpful to get me to read more. First, I’m introduced to new books that they suggest. And second, whenever I go on Instagram and see their pages, it reminds me to pick up a book and read.

    I started following a lot of the accounts because they liked the same books I’ve previously read and also liked. Therefore, when they recommend a book, I already know that most likely it will be another good one. This has saved me a lot of time in searching for my next read and it keeps my “to read” list nice and exciting.

    I’ve recently been liking the recommendations from @kaila.books, @reviejane, and @amandathebookworm on Instagram.

    5. Go to a Book Store

    I love the atmosphere of bookstores – they’re cozy, curated, and just full of reading potential. When I’m feeling like I’m in a book slump, I like to visit an independent or chain bookstore. You don’t have to buy a book when you’re there (you can if you want), but just taking in the atmosphere can give you inspiration for your next read. There are also recommendations sections and everyone who works there will probably have a couple books to suggest.

    Photo by Ksenia Chernaya: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-reading-in-a-coffee-shop-bookstore-3965493/

    6. Talk about Books

    This leads me to my next suggestion on how to read more. Talk about reading and what genres you like reading with others. Seriously, ask people “have you read any good books recently?”, because sometimes you’ll get lucky. Maybe that mom friend you met at the park is into Romantasy (fantasy romance) just like you and they have a suggestion. Or maybe that coworker who has an amazing vocabulary, has a non-fiction that they’ve just finished and love. Overall, if you connect with someone’s personality, maybe you’ll also like some of their reading materials.

    7. Join a Book Club

    Reading is solidary activity. For those who struggle to find the motivation to read, joining a book club can help. You can find book clubs at your local library, or you can make an unofficial one with your friends. I prefer the unofficial book club, because the group can collectively agree on book titles and I love any excuse to get together with friends. It’s nice to have others hold you accountable and they’ll be there to chat about the book.

    If your kids are old enough for chapter books, you can do a book club as a family. Or if you want a cute little date idea with your partner, you can both read the same book.

    Photo by cottonbro studio: https://www.pexels.com/photo/person-in-gray-jacket-holding-white-paper-4861364/

    8. Join a Book Tracking Website

    I love tracking my books – I find it so satisfying to give a book my rating and add the date I completed it. I prefer Goodreads (the most popular platform) for this, but there are other tracking websites you can use. Once you make a profile, these websites usually allow you to set a reading goal for the year and have a method of monitoring your progress towards that goal. You can also follow your friends and see what they’ve been reading and their reviews. Additionally, you can browse for recommendations and mark books you want to read to your online reading list.

    9. Don’t Feel Bad About Not Finishing a Book

    For me, life is too short to read a book that you don’t connect with. I hate derailing my reading goals with a book that I’m slogging through. But to give some books the benefit of the doubt, I’ve started employing the “100-page Rule”. This is where I’ll read the first 100 pages and if I’m not hooked or the story is falling flat for me, I give myself permission to stop reading it. This is where a library card is particularly useful, since you haven’t purchased the book and therefore feel no obligation to finish. Reading should be fun – pick books that make you feel good and leave behind the ones that don’t for another reader.

    10. Magazine Palette Cleansers

    If you want to read more, it helps to maintain a momentum by always having a good book to read. However, sometimes you might experience a “book burnout” where maybe you’ve just read a super emotional book and need to sit with that for a bit, or maybe you’ve just finished a book series and aren’t sure what to read next. My suggestion is to read a magazine in the meantime. I find this prevents me from using social media as a filler activity, and magazines are easier reads where you can learn new things. After a few magazines, I’m ready to jump back into a book.

    You can also do this with podcasts/radio shows if you want a break from an audiobook.

    Photo by Lisa from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/person-turning-page-1476057/

    You Can Find Time to Read

    With everything on your to-do list, it can be hard to prioritize reading a book. And it can be easy to find yourself in the trap of skipping reading just to scroll socials on your phone. Hopefully the tricks above are able to help you become a more seasoned reader and make reading a natural part of your day.

    Let me know if you have any suggestions in the comments on how you incorporate reading into your own busy schedule! Or comment what you’re currently reading – I’d love to hear about it!

    *This is in reference to an article on adolescents and screen use. But I think the benefits can be applied in this case. Here’s the article reference if you want to read for yourself: Twenge, J. M., Martin, G. N., & Campbell, W. K. (2018). Decreases in psychological well-being among American adolescents after 2012 and links to screen time during the rise of smartphone technology. Emotion, 18(6), 765–780. https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0000403

  • 12 Easy Steps to Help Moms Mentally Prepare for a Return-to-Work after Parental Leave

    12 Easy Steps to Help Moms Mentally Prepare for a Return-to-Work after Parental Leave

    I’m a mom of two beautiful little ones, and have spent the last 11 months on parental leave in Canada. My first is already in daycare, but my second will be starting in April when my year of parental leave is completed. Even though this will be my second time doing a “return-to-work” and I’m returning to the same job I left, this whole thing does not feel any easier. And it can be overwhelming to think about everything you should be doing to help your kids adjust. The mom-guilt can really hit you hard!

    However, new life transitions are fantastic excuses to reset your thoughts, your mood, and your goals! A lot of return-to-work lists focus on making the transition easier for the kids, but I think we need one for moms (and dads) too. Here’s the list I’m following to help me prepare my own return-to-work that might help you as well!

    1. Set New Goals and Review Leave

    Just like New Years’ resolutions, going back to work can be a great opportunity to set some goals! It should be a fun exercise to help you reflect on your past year and to determine how you envision your future.

    I would suggest that at least a month before your return, you make a date with yourself and start brainstorming. Your goals should follow the SMART format: are Specific, have a way to Measure your performance, are Achievable or realistic, are Relevant to you and your values, and are Time-Bound or have an expiration date. The closer you follow SMART, the more detailed your goals and the more likely you’ll achieve them.

    Photo by Marten Bjork on Unsplash

    My advice is to keep this process as simple as possible for yourself. I’m starting with 3 categories of goals: goals for work, goals for myself, and goals for my family. Next, I’m adding one or two goals for each category.

    Additionally, you should review your past year and everything you’ve accomplished as a parent. Bottomline: parenting kids, especially little ones, is hard. It’s mentally demanding and sleep deprivation is no joke. Those tantrums can really grind your gears and maybe you have more grey hair than you did a year ago. Not to mention how physically demanding it can be to carry those children and their accessories (car seats, backpacks, bikes etc…). But, in reviewing your leave, you’re giving yourself an opportunity to clearly lay out your growth as a person. Maybe you’ve become more flexible, patient, organized, creative (make-believe anyone?), resilient, and overall just stronger. These are skills you can add to your mental resume and bring with you into your work-life. When you’re having a tough day, think back to these things you’ve learned and you’ll give yourself the cognitive boost to keep going.

    2. Journal or “Brain Dump”

    In case you thought otherwise, I’m clearly not sugar-coating this: going back to work is a big change. Just like the change you went through when you had your baby, you’re again making another huge transition. You are going to be a working mom. You’re going to be balancing a 9-5 job, daycare/school schedules, groceries, cooking, house chores, extracurriculars, playdates, your marriage/relationship, and it’s all while you’re trying to find a sliver of time for yourself. It doesn’t matter how your family divides house and child rearing duties, there will be a lot on your plate with pressure to ensure everything works smoothly. Cue shoulder tension, teeth clenching and some internal screaming

    I’m going to throw you a little life-line called “the brain dump”. It’s not complicated, you just write whatever is on your mind. It can be any anxieties you have, worse case scenarios you’re afraid of, pros and cons of returning to work, to-do lists, etc…

    Don’t worry about what you write. Don’t even pay attention to punctuation or grammar, just get those thoughts on paper (or the notes app on your phone). There is something so freeing in getting everything circling around in your head out. It can help make big problems smaller and maybe you’ll even see that you’re more prepared for this change than you thought.

    3. Create a Vision Board

    I LOVE vision boards. Making a vision board is a fun activity that can give you so much inspiration and motivation for your day. My favorite way to make a vision board is to use Pinterest. I like to search “X aesthetic”, for example “business casual aesthetic” to find images that will look neat on a vision board. Then, when you click on the image, there will be three dots below, clicking on these dots gives you the option to “add to collage”. Here you can place your image on a blank dot grid. You can resize it or change the orientation. You’re also able to add your own free text, images, or doodles. Add some quotes that resonate with you in addition to images. Maybe include some things you’re looking forward to with going back to work (hot coffee?), or some quotes that resonate with you now. When you’re finished with your Pinterest Collage, download it and save it as your phone screen saver. That way, every time you use your phone, you are reminded of your vision board. Maybe some images and quotes jump out to you more than others on any given day, but the constant reminder helps to reinforce your vision.

    Hot take: you can change your vision board as many times as you want. Make one everyday if that feels good for you. I like making one monthly and I’ll label them “Month X 2025 Vision Board”. Sometimes the season (fall/winter/spring/summer) lends a theme to your board and sometimes you’ll find something new you’ll want to add right away.

    4. Update Your Calendar/Sync Household Calendar

    Family organization is invaluable when you return to work. I especially find postpartum that if I don’t write something down or make a huge effort to remember it, it will *poof* disappear with the wind. So I suggest writing down everything in your calendar coming up over the next couple of months, maybe even add in specialized advance reminders like “buy a birthday present for birthday party next week”. In my previous return to work, I found that with all the changes happening to your family dynamic, adjustments to a new work schedule, and the associated fatigue, that the days just flew by! Keeping personal events updated in your calendar can avoid holidays getting the jump on you or missing deadlines to register for children’s sports.

    My husband plays hockey twice a week over the winter and golfs most weekends in the summer, so having a shared calendar has been so beneficial to know which days I’ll be solo. On those days I can plan easier meals and maybe have a playdate planned. We were gifted the Skylight Calendar this year for Christmas and it’s been so helpful to have everything organized in one program. Before the Skylight we used Google Calendar and sent event invites to each other for upcoming appointments. But, a good old fashioned paper calendar on your fridge does the job just fine!

    5. Deep Clean your Space

    Getting into the right headspace for work can also be as simple as a good ol’ spring clean. I’m tackling heavy traffic areas like the kitchen pantry, the living room, toy room, bathroom, and my closet. I know that with me going back to work these areas will not have much attention for a while and rather than have them become absolute disasters, I’m cleaning them now.

    Clearing these spaces really paves the way for future success. You can see your current pantry offering for easier meal planning and expired products are gone. Family common spaces feel more Zen and welcoming to lounge in. And cleaning closets means an opportunity to offload ill-fitting clothing and outdated pieces.

    6. Digital Declutter

    Similar to clearing out physical spaces in your home, I suggest doing a digital clean of your phone, phone apps, and emails. Over my parental leave, I barely had the energy to check my emails choosing only to respond to the most important. So I have quite the buildup that I want to get rid of before heading back to work. In addition, I get so many promotional emails that don’t really apply to me and my lifestyle anymore. And for the benefit of my savings, I’m going to unsubscribe from the online retail emails I get – sorry Lululemon, but I really can’t be tempted with new leggings right now.

    My phone has also slowly become a bit of a mess. I’ve gradually lost my organization and now I have airline apps next to banking apps. Basically, I need google maps just to navigate my phone pages.

    So, review your digital devices and honestly, be ruthless. You can always resubscribe or redownload an app, but you’re really not going to go back to that promotional email that you got 4 months ago. Just delete it – you’ll feel so much better.

    7. Plan Meals, Workouts, and Wardrobes

    Planning is my emotional support animal. Not only does it save you time and valuable brain space, I find it eases my anxiety. If you meal plan for the week, you don’t need to do a last minute grocery shop as you’re driving home from work. And it saves you from spending money on eating out when you just say “F*** it, I can’t cook tonight”. I like to do a “Meal Plan Lite” since I hate spending my weekends batch cooking something that probably won’t taste super great in the the middle of the week. What I do is select 4-5 recipes for the week (you can delegate days to family members) and then make a grocery list. Then I order grocery pickup(it costs $1 at Fortinos in Ontario) and grab it all on Sunday. Easy-peasy done for the week, and you don’t even have to step into the store. However, I do like starting Monday with a low-effort prep recipe, such as a lasagna or a crockpot meal. I’ll put it together on Sunday to have it ready for Monday. And, little tip, make big batches of your dinners so that your leftovers get to be your lunches at work. No more cafeteria food for you – look at you go!

    This time around, I’m also going to try a rotational meal plan and see how my family likes it. I’m going to make a menu for Week A, Week B, and Week C with each week having it’s own meal recipes. Then I’ll just cycle through the three weeks until I want a change. Hopefully this will keep meals interesting and easier to execute with my grocery deliveries.

    For workouts, I strongly believe that the fewer barriers you have between you and your workout the better. Basically, the less mental load required, the less you’ll talk yourself out of whatever you’re supposed to be doing. Thus, plain and simple, plan your workouts. You can write them yourself, save Youtube videos, get an app, chat with AI to get some ideas etc… Just have your days planned, available, and easily accessible so no overthinking. Then, the cherry on top is to plan your workout time. Will it be early morning at 5 am, after work, or before/after dinner? Make it an appointment and don’t feel guilty about taking that time for yourself. You’re a better parent when you move your body and you’re modeling a healthy lifestyle for your children when you make it a priority. You also don’t need to restrict yourself into always working out at the same time, like the dreaded 5 am. For example, maybe Tuesdays and Thursdays are 5 am, but Wednesday you can do a lunch time workout. And be creative, if you follow a five day workout schedule with two rest days, perhaps you workout on both days of the weekend rather than during the week. Those days might be easier to get a workout in with your partner around and the physical activity can give you some weekend “me time”.

    Finally, you can plan out your wardrobe on a week-to-week basis, or really even just the night before. Looking at outfit inspirations on Pinterest or Instagram is useful to know what’s trendy after living in athleisure for a year. Just this planning alone will save you valuable time in the morning.

    8. Buy Something Fun

    When my son first started going to daycare, I would bring him a small treat when I picked him up. It was something for him to look forward to and use to celebrate that he completed another day of daycare. It was usually a handful of gummy worms, but sometimes he’d get a kinder egg. I’d try to surprise him and make it as fun as I could. For moms, we have a bit of an aversion to doing things for ourselves, even if it’s something small. But, I’d really recommend that you do something similar for yourself. It doesn’t have to be big, it could be a chocolate bar at the end of the day or maybe giving yourself permission to buy that super fancy latte on Friday after making it through the week.

    You can also purchase something bigger before you return, like a new shirt or a pair of jeans. Make it something you really like and that makes you feel more confident. I got new glasses and I’m looking forward to wearing them at work because they actually make me feel a bit stylish. Whatever you decide on, it should be something that provides you with a little dopamine boost that can just make your day a bit more enjoyable. It won’t be a habit you rely on, just something to make the transition a little easier.

    9. Pamper Yourself

    Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

    Similar to treating yourself to something fun, pamper yourself a little bit. Maybe get a haircut or a manicure before you go back. Make it something that helps you feel a little more put together and polished before reintegrating into work. Even just painting your nails yourself and doing a DIY skin mask can work wonders for getting into the zone. This is the classic “fake it ’til you make it scenario”, the more self-assured you look, the more you’ll actually start to feel that way.

    10. Give Yourself Grace

    If you take away anything from this list, I want this to be it. All the preparation in the world can’t help you when life throws curveballs your way. Maybe you have a big work deadline that comes up soon after you start and you can’t follow your meal plan or workout. Maybe your toddler starts thinking it’s a great idea to refuse to wear pants in the morning. Maybe your family gets the stomach flu. Maybe you’re just “so so tired after work today, can we please just watch a movie and order in?” Point is, things are bound to happen that will derail even the best laid plans. And sometimes you feel like you’re killing it and other times like you’re barely keeping your head above water. Life has ebbs and flows so it’s important to be flexible with the understanding that you won’t be on top of everything all the time. So give yourself grace, give your partner grace, and give your kids grace.

    You got this!

    I’ve been incredibly fortunate to have been able to spend the last year dedicated to my daughter. Not every parents has this, nor does every parent have the support network that I’ve been blessed with. I’m also returning to an extremely supportive work-place that prioritizes family and a healthy work-life balance. Some aspects of this list may not be applicable to everyone, but I’m hopeful that most will get some benefit.

    Moms, please don’t forget about yourself and your needs. Life as you know it is changing again! But, you’re adaptable and mentally resilient. So many bright days and experiences are ahead – you’ve got this!

    Let me know if any of these tips helped you get ready for work! And let me know if I’m missing anything that you’d recommend!